When the Kids Are Gone

Once our lives were all about kids
All about kids and the things kids did
Me and the missus and Little League games
And then one year when the summertime came

I said, "I think they're old enough
To go to summer camp and do summer camp stuff"
So we signed them up for a two-week stint
My wife said to me just before they went

"What are we gonna do when the kids are gone
For two long weeks and we're all alone?
Will we know how to act here on our own?
What are we gonna do" (What are we gonna do)
"When the kids are gone?"

And I said, "Hmm"

"Make love in the kitchen and howl at the moon
Run butt-naked through the dining room"
(Butt-naked, butt-naked through the dining room)
"Stay out late with all of our friends
And run hog-wild 'til the summer camp ends"

Well, there was dating and proms and graduation
Off to college for more education
Then one day, it became real clear
That it wouldn't be long 'til they wouldn't be here

Once again, my wife said

"What are we gonna do when the kids are grown
When they're all moved out and we're on our own?
When we get back our lives and our telephone
Said what are we gonna do" (What are we gonna do)
"When the kids are grown?"

And I said, "Let's see, heh-heh-heh"

"We'll make love in the kitchen and howl at the moon
Run butt-naked through the dining room"
(Butt-naked, butt-naked, butt-naked, butt-naked)
"Buy a red Corvette and a silver van
And run hog-wild 'til we're in Depends"

Then one day the children sat us both down
Said, "We see you're having trouble just getting around
We'd hate to see you come to some harm
So we're sending you off to the Sunset Farms"

My wife cried, and said

"What are we gonna do when they put us in the home
When the kids sell off everything we own?
When our hearing and our vision and our teeth are gone
Now what are we gonna do" (What are we gonna do)
"When they put us in the home?"

And I said, "Heh-heh-heh"

"Make love in the kitchen and howl at the moon
Run butt-naked through the dining room"
(Butt-naked, butt-naked, butt, butt, butt-naked)
"If they tell us that we can't, we'll just do it again
And run hog-wild 'til the whole thing ends"

"Make love in the kitchen and howl at the moon
Run butt-naked through the dining room"
(Butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt-naked)
"If they tell us not to do it, we'll just do it again
And run hog-wild 'til this whole thing ends"

"Make love in the kitchen and howl at the moon
Run butt-naked through the dining room"
(Butt-naked, naked, naked, naked, naked, naked, naked)
"If they tell us, 'Don't do that', we'll just do that again
And run hog-wild 'til this whole thing ends"