Walk the Plank

Parley all day, damage is momentous
Fire nonstop like I'm Trump on Apprentice
Goin' top lane, that's a death sentence
Soul crushing damage and sustain that's my essence

Can't be touched every champ is a mismatch
Sleek like Apple but don't need an iPatch
Try to gank me, but you know that you can't catch
Scurvy removed and I fall back without a scratch

Better dispatch your team to assist you
Shoot 12 times a minute and I never once missed you
Clearly it was a mistake to enlist you
Stomp so hard that you'll wish that you dodged queue

Can't dodge Q cause it's an ability
Grog soaked blade, hinder your mobility
Just doing my job no need for hostility
Ragers get ignored lets have some civility

Don't call me Jack Sparrow cause I'm much more of a menace
Take you on my boat with implications like Mac and Dennis
Built my repututation on the water like the city Venice
Always in pursuit until I destroy your team's Nexus
Student of piracy, I practice piously
Check my report card, always perfect grades, seven Cs
No place to hide because I come at you relentlessly
Singlehandedly I will reduce your life expectancy
I'm the greatest champion in the game, described essentially

Had a tough childhood, from the school of hardknocks
Own two ships because my damage is a pair of docks
More valuable than Google, your just a penny stock
Take over your base like the pilgrims at Plymouth Rock

You're never safe cause my ult is global
Cannonballs rain down, render you immobile
Constantly inceasing my gold and kill totals
Initiate the fight and melt you down like Chernobyl

I raise morale better than a USO show
Higher crit percentage than a Steve Nash free throw
I can tell your future better than Miss Cleo
Call me for a free reading, I'm Oracle you're Neo

I hit harder than a head on car crash
Leave you more hurt than a late stage Johnny Cash
Tier 1 champ everyone else is lower class
One shot kills cause I crit like nerve gas

I'm the perfect hybrid, carry support tank
Next person to cross me takes a slow walk off the plank
My best advice is that you hide like Anne Frank
And write in your diary about the menace that is Gangplank
The highest rank, Captain even from the fifth pick
Move speed steroid, can't be caught too quick
Never lose a game cause my skillset is too sick
No chance to live cause I hit like a ton of bricks
Full hp to zero health with a single mouse click