Vlad the Impaler

[Chorus]
Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the Impaler
Vlad, Vlad
He could have been a sailor but he's
Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the Impaler
Vlad, Vlad
He could have been a whaler
Could have been a tailor
He turned out to be Norman Mailer

Ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh!

[Verse 1]
He stepped back and he smoked a joint
Twenty thousand peasants, yeah they got the point
Mommy was a hamster
And his daddy was a jailer
Real tough childhood for such a fucking failure

He's so glad, he's Vlad

[Chorus]
Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the Impaler
Vlad, Vlad
He could have been a sailor but he's
Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the Impaler
Vlad, Vlad
Could have been a tailor
Could have been a whaler
He turned, he turned, he turned, he turned

Ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh!
Ohh-oh! Ohh-oh! Ohh-oh! Ohh-oh!
Ohhhh!

V-L-A-D
Vlad

[Bridge]
When he was a boy
They sent him to the Turks
But you know that they didn't like him
Because all the Turks were jerks
When Vlad returned home, his wrath
For the ancients had spurned
But the ancient art of impalement
Was something that that boy had learned

(Hah! Hah! Hah!)
Oh, how he learned
(Hah! Hah! Hah!)
He learned, they burned
They burned and burned
(Hah! Hah! Hah!)
Rotisseries of corpses turned
(Hah! Hah! Hah!)
Oh he's so glad

He's so glad
He's so glad he's Vlad