Victrola

[Intro]
My man Jarv, uh, he's nice
Dude's like crazy, like AH! He's nuts!

[Verse 1: Jarv]
Jump, jive, gettin’ jiggy in the basement
Jarv jaws give a true feeling of jubilation
July to June, son juggling jewel statements
Julie the june bug and jugular juice Jason
Are jamming out, Nate J can account
Jenna Jameson and Janet J. oughta joust
I jerry-rig a jock-jammed J to the jowls
And I chug a jug of Jack and I chase it with stout
Now Jarv’s automatically awesome
I’m dropping anvils from Andover Vermont down to Austin
Assembling an amazing array of anthrax and arsenic
The art of advanced arson
Annihilating, Anyone as I’m annoyed
At all of y’all androgynous androids
Anthropomorphic assimilations
Aren’t anywhere annexed or adjacent
To rhetoric really rad and hella rich
Robust rats rip raps irrelevant
Religious republicans reticent
Ready-writhe in the reticle of my Remington
Relish in raw, repugnant refuse
Rock-roll rhymes rough, rugged and rude
Revamp ramps and rev rally race rides
Reluctantly raggamuffs cut loose and vibe
Divide viles of vast verses
Vamp various vile-verified versions
Vex and vent; veer void, violent vipers
Veni, vidi, vici; venemous verbalizer
Vigilance; vilify villages
Increase the volume, I’ll get villanous
And vicious like Invader Zim or Darth Vader
The way Vin Vega’s veins been-

[Bridge: Jarv]
Straight vitriol spinning on a victrola
On the track I’m sicker than Ebola
Post up and get roasted, son
J A to the R V’s dope as fuck
It’s straight vitriol spinning on a victrola
Shit’s sick, man, I thought I told ya
Show up and get roasted son
J A to the R V’s dope as fuck
J! A! R! V!
Jarv, J! A! R! V!
J! A! R! V!
I fuck with Jarv!
J! A! R! V!
Jarv's number one!
J! A! R! V!
G-G-G-Good job, Jarv!

[Verse 2: Jarv]
It’s the jump off; jawbreaker jump ball
Juvenile Jarv in a jukebox junkyard
Jerry can judo journal-jacking junkies
Judas jumped Jesus, juxed him just cause he was judgy
All of y’all are actors affluent in Aspen
Actively adopting Alabama accents
Asinine adverts and adolescent apathy
Y’all amateur anesthesiologists aren’t attracting me
Rack ‘em, rack, rack ‘em, rackball
I’m in a Range Rover reciting some riveting raps, y’all
Roll out red rugs, roll reefer and resin
Relax with the resident relic
Relish and rep his-Very vast vocabulary
Vapid, vital and vulgar
Vibing in your vixen’s Volvo
Visualizing the vulva
Then voila; vanish in a vaginal vortex
The verbally vascular vernacular vet

[Outro: Jarv]
Will claim victory
Spinning on a victrola
I’m a king, please get me a mimosa
I roll out and don’t show no bucks
Cause J A to the R V’s broke as fuck
I claim victory spinning on a victrola
When I was young I used to drink mad soda
But now it’s H20 because I’m so grown up, what
My name is Jarv and y’all can hold my nuts