Too Old For The Pit

I’m here to stand and tap my feet
And nod politely to the beat
Adjust my earplugs sip my drink and squirm
While wistfully I gaze upon
The circle where I once belonged
Back when these kids were nothing more than sperm

Too old for the pit
Too old for the pit
Too old for the pit
Too old for the motherfucking pit the rules are well-defined
I’ve got your back and you’ve got mine
If I go down you’ll help me catch my breath
But nowadays if I should slip
I’m worried I might break a hip
And CIGNA doesn’t cover walls of death

Too old for the pit
Too old for the pit
Too old for the pit
Too old for the motherfucking pit

“Hey, so are you like, here with your kid or something?”
“Well…I mean, yeah, but I’ve been a fan of this band for years. Their guitarist actually used to be in this hardcore band I used to see all the time in Western Massachusetts and…”
“Poggers. So, can you buy me beer?”

I’m 47
It fucking blows
Cuz I still like new bands and going out to shows
The breakdown hits me
I prance around
I feel my back crack
I settle down
I used to mosh and skank and slam
And come home drenched in sweat at 2am
But now at concerts
I must admit
My step count doesn’t even rise on my fitbit
Rise on my fitbit
Rise on my fitbit
Too old for the pit

I’m here to stand and tap my feet
And nod politely to the beat
Adjust my earplugs sip my drink and squirm
I squint so to see the band that plays
And reminisce about the days
Back when these kids were nothing more than motherfucking sperm