Tied to My Neck

You told me nine times before
And you said that her touch was not love all these years
You said that she stole and lied
And you said to be brave like me

And I couldn't believe when you said outlive
But I must come out and face the unwilling terms
These eyes they are old
And can only focus on the son that I was
The wrong that I was

I tried to gape the teeth
Just so the water could fill my lungs
And all this time I thought I was drowning
And all this time she made me
And you caged me and beat me

These shackles reek of your cologne
And manipulative phrases
She is dying
And I wish Hell upon you one thousand times a day

I have her graft inside of me
She sewed this body and made these eyes
She put them in my head and gave me life
You gave me hate, greed, confusion
And a shimmering blurred backhand of your affection

She is dying and I have come to realize this
He is breathing but should have stopped a long time ago
I know his heart quit
But I have no reason for him to give anything

And she is dying and I have missed her life
She gave everything to me
I have so much conscience tied to my neck
I want to swim atop of this sea
And give her all the love
Which has so diligently fallen under lock and key

It was so uneven and the anchor that I have woven
Is weighing and pulling me down to the bottom of this ocean
And I wish I could spread my wings far enough to stop this
Fall from grace but there is nothing I can do