The Rover Act IV Chapter III

Enter Florinda and Valeria in Habits different from what they have been seen in.

FLOR. We’re happily escaped, yet I tremble still.

VAL. A Lover and fear! why, I am but half a one, and yet I have Courage for any Attempt. Would Hellena were here. I would fain have had her as deep in this Mischief as we, she’ll fare but ill else I doubt.

FLOR. She pretended a Visit to the Augustine Nuns, but I believe some other design carried her out, pray Heavens we light on her.
Prithee what didst do with Callis?

VAL. When I saw no Reason would do good on her, I followed her into the Wardrobe, and as she was looking for something in a great Chest, I tumbled her in by the Heels, snatcht the Key of the Apartment where you were confined, lockt her in, and left her bauling for help.

FLOR. ’Tis well you resolve to follow my Fortunes, for thou darest never appear at home again after such an Action.

VAL. That’s according as the young Stranger and I shall agree But to our business I deliver’d your Letter, your Note to Belvile, when I got out under pretence of going to Mass, I found him at his Lodging, and believe me it came seasonably; for never was Man in so desperate a Condition. I told him of your Resolution of making your escape to day, if your Brother would be absent long enough to permit you; if not, die rather than be Antonio’s.

FLOR. Thou shou’dst have told him I was confined to my Chamber upon my Brother’s suspicion, that the Business on the Molo was a Plot laid between him and I.

VAL. I said all this, and told him your Brother was now gone to his Devotion, and he resolves to visit every Church till he find him; and not only undeceive him in that, but caress him so as shall delay his return home.

FLOR. Oh Heavens! he’s here, and Belvile with him too.[They put on their Vizards.

Enter Don Pedro, Belvile, Willmore; Belvile and Don Pedro seeming in serious Discourse.

VAL. Walk boldly by them, I’ll come at a distance, lest he suspect us.[She walks by them, and looks back on them.

WILL. Ha! A Woman! and of an excellent Mien!

PED. She throws a kind look back on you.

WILL. Death, tis a likely Wench, and that kind look shall not be cast away I’ll follow her.

BELV. Prithee do not.

WILL. Do not! By Heavens to the Antipodes, with such an Invitation.[She goes out, and WILL. follows her.

BELV. ’Tis a mad Fellow for a Wench.

Enter FRED.

FRED. Oh Colonel, such News.

BELV. Prithee what?

FRED. News that will make you laugh in spite of Fortune.

BELV. What, Blunt has had some dammed Trick put upon him, cheated, bang’d, or clapt?

FRED. Cheated, Sir, rarely cheated of all but his Shirt and Drawers; the unconscionable Whore too turn’d him 80out before Consummation, so that traversing the Streets at Midnight, the Watch found him in this Fresco, and conducted him home: By Heaven ’tis such a slight, and yet I durst as well have been hanged as laugh at him, or pity him; he beats all that do but ask him a Question, and is in such an Humour

PED. Who is’t has met with this ill usage, Sir?

BELV. A Friend of ours, whom you must see for Mirth’s sake. I’ll imploy him to give Florinda time for an escape.

PED. Who is he?

BELV. A young Countryman of ours, one that has been educated at so plentiful a rate, he yet ne’er knew the want of Money, and ’twill be a great Jest to see how simply he’ll look without it. For my part I’ll lend him none, and the Rogueknows not how to put on a borrowing Face, and ask first. I’ll let him see how good ’tis to play our parts whilst I play his Prithee, FRED. do go home and keep him in that posture till we come.

Enter Florinda from the farther end of the Scene, looking behind her.

FLOR. I am follow’d still hah my Brother too advancing this way, good Heavens defend me from being seen by him.[She goes off.

Enter Willmore, and after him Valeria, at a little distance.

WILL. Ah! There she sails, she looks back as she were willing to be boarded, I’ll warrant her Prize.[He goes out, Valeria following.

Enter Hellena, just as he goes out, with a Page.

HELL. Hah, is not that my Captain that has a Woman in chase? ’tis notAngelica. Boy, follow those People at a distance, and bring me an Account where they go in. I’ll find his Haunts, and plague him every where. ha my Brother!

[Exit Page.
[Bel. Wil. PED. cross the Stage: HELL. runs off.
Scene changes to another Street. Enter Florinda.

FLOR. What shall I do, my Brother now pursues me. Will no kind Power protect me from his Tyranny? Hah, here’s a Door open, I’ll venture in, since nothing can be worse than to fall into his Hands, my Life and Honor are at stake, and my Necessity has no choice.

Enter Valeria, and Hellena’s Page peeping after Florinda.

PAG. Here she went in, I shall remember this House.[Exit Boy.

VAL. This is Belvile’s Lodgings; she’s gone in as readily as if she knew it hah here’s that mad Fellow again, I dare not venture in I’ll watch my Opportunity.[Goes aside.

Enter Willmore, gazing about him.

WILL. I have lost her hereabouts Pox on’t she must not scape me so.

Scene changes to Blunt’s Chamber, discovers him sitting on a Couch in his Shirt and Drawers, reading.
BLUNT. So, now my Mind’s a little at Peace, since I have resolved Revenge A Pox on this Taylor tho, for not bringing home the Clothes I bespoke; and a Pox of all poor Cavaliers, a Man can never keep a spare Suit for them; and I shall have these Rogues come in and find me naked; and then I’m undone; but I’m resolved to arm my self the Rascals shall not insult over me too much. [Puts on an old rusty Sword and Buff-Belt.
Now, how like a Morrice-Dancer I am equipt a fine Lady-like Whore to cheat me thus, without affording me a Kindness for my Money, a Pox light on her, I shall never be reconciled to the Sex more, she has made me as faithless as a Physician, as uncharitable as a Churchman, and as ill-natured as a Poet. O how I’ll use all Women-kind hereafter! what would’d I give to have one of ’em within my reach now! any Mortal thing in Petticoats, kind Fortune, send me; and I’ll forgive thy last Night’s Malice Here’s a cursed Book too, (a Warning to all young Travellers) that can instruct me how to prevent such Mischiefs now ’tis too late. Well ’tis a rare convenient thing to read a little now and then, as well as hawk and hunt.[Sits down again and reads.

Enter to him Florinda.

FLOR. This House is haunted sure,’tis well furnish and no living thing inhabits it hah a Man! Heavens how he’s attir’d! sure ’tis some Rope-dancer, or Fencing-Master; I tremble now for fear, and yet I must venture now to speak to him Sir, if I may not interrupt your Meditations

BLUNT. Hah what’s here? Are my wishes granted? and is not that a she Creature? Adsheartlikins ’tis! what wretched thing art thou hah!

FLOR. Charitable Sir, you’ve told your self already what I am; a very wretched Maid, forc’d by a strange unlucky Accident, to seek a safety here, and must be ruined, if you do not grant it.

BLUNT. Ruin’d! Is there any Ruin so inevitable as that which now threatens thee? Dost thou know, miserable Woman, into what Den of Mischiefs thou art fallen? what a Bliss of Confusion? hah dost not see something in my looks that frights thy guilty Soul, and makes thee wish to change that Shape of Woman for any humble Animal, or Devil? for those were safer for thee, and less mischievous.

FLOR. Alas, what mean you, Sir? I must confess your Looks have something in ’em makes me fear; but I beseech you, as you seem a Gentleman, pity a harmless Virgin, that takes your House for Sanctuary.

BLUNT. Talk on, talk on, and weep too, till my faith return. Do, flatter me out of my Senses again a harmless Virgin with a Pox, as much one as t’other, adsheartlikins. Why, what the Devil can I not be safe in my House for you? not in my Chamber? nay, even being naked too cannot secure me. This is an Impudence greater than has invaded me yet. Come, no Resistance.[Pulls her rudely.

FLOR. Dare you be so cruel?

BLUNT. Cruel, adsheartlikins as a Gally-slave, or a Spanish Whore: Cruel, yes, I will kiss and beat thee all over; kiss, and see thee all over; thou shalt lie with me too, not that I care for the Injoyment, but to let you see I have ta’en deliberated Malice to thee, and will be revenged on one Whore for the Sins of another; I will smile and deceive thee, flatter thee, and beat thee, kiss and swear, and lye to thee, imbrace thee and rob thee, as she did me, fawn on thee, and strip thee stark naked, then hang thee out at my Window by the Heels, with a Paper of scurvey Verses fasten’d to thy Breast, in praise of damnable Women Come, come along.

FLOR. Alas, Sir, must I be sacrific’d for the Crimes of the most infamous of my Sex? I never understood the Sins you name.

BLUNT. Do, persuade the Fool you love him, or that one of you can be just or honest; tell me I was not an easy Coxcomb, or any strange impossible Tale: it will be believ’d sooner than thy false Showers or Protestations. A Generation of damn’d Hypocrites, to flatter my very Clothes from my back! dissembling Witches! are these the Returns you make an honest Gentleman that trusts, believes, and loves you? But if I be not even with you Come along, or I shall

Enter Frederick.

FRED. Hah, what’s here to do?
BLUNT. Adsheartlikins, FRED. I am glad thou art come, to be a Witness of my dire Revenge.

FRED. What’s this, a Person of Quality too, who is upon 84the Ramble to supply the Defects of some grave impotent Husband?

BLUNT. No, this has another Pretence, some very unfortunate Accident brought her hither, to save a Life pursued by I know not who, or why, and forced to take Sanctuary here at Fools Haven. Adsheartlikins to me of all Mankind for Protection? Is the Ass to be cajol’d again, think ye? No, young one, no Prayers or Tears shall mitigate my Rage; therefore prepare for both my Pleasure of Enjoyment and Revenge, for I am resolved to make up my Loss here on thy Body, I’ll take it out in kindness and in beating.

FRED. Now, Mistress of mine, what do you think of this?

FLOR. I think he will not dares not be so barbarous.

FRED. Have a care, Blunt, she fetch’d a deep Sigh, she is inamour’d with thy Shirt and Drawers, she’ll strip thee even of that. There are of her Calling such unconscionable Baggages, and such dexterous Thieves, they’ll flea a Man, and he shall ne’er miss his Skin, till he feels the Cold. There was a Country-man of ours robb’d of a Row of Teeth whilst he was sleeping, which the Jilt made him buy again when he waked You see, Lady, how little Reason we have to trust you.

BLUNT. ’Dsheartlikins, why, this is most abominable.

FLOR. Some such Devils there may be, but by all that’s holy I am none such, I entered here to save a Life in danger.

BLUNT. For no goodness I’ll warrant her.

FRED. Faith, Damsel, you had even confess the plain Truth, for we are Fellows not to be caught twice in the same Trap: Look on that Wreck, a tight Vessel when he set out of Haven, well trim’d and laden, and see how a Female Piccaroon of this Island of Rogues has shattered him, and canst thou hope for any Mercy?

BLUNT. No, no, Gentlewoman, come along, adsheartlikins we must be better acquainted we’ll both lie with her, and then let me alone to bang her.

FRED. I am ready to serve you in matters of Revenge, that has a double Pleasure in’t.

BLUNT. Well said. You hear, little one, how you are condemned by publick Vote to the Bed within, there’s no resisting your Destiny, Sweetheart.[Pulls her.

FLOR. Stay, Sir, I have seen you with Belvile, an English Cavalier, for his sake use me kindly; you know how, Sir.

BLUNT. Belvile! why, yes, Sweating, we do know Belvile, and wish he were with us now, he’s a Cormorant at Whore and Bacon, he’d have a Limb or two of thee, my Virgin Pullet: but ’tis no matter, we’ll leave him the Bones to pick.

FLOR. Sir, if you have any Esteem for that Belvile, I conjure you to treat me with more Gentleness; he’ll thank you for the Justice.

FRED. Hark ye, Blunt, I doubt we are mistaken in this matter.

FLOR. Sir, If you find me not worth Belvile’s Care, use me as you please; and that you may think I merit better treatment than you threaten pray take this Present [Gives him a Ring: He looks on it.

BLUNT. Hum A Diamond! why, ’tis a wonderful Virtue now that lies in this Ring, a mollifying Virtue; adsheartlikins there’s more persuasive Rhetorick in’t, than all her Sex can utter.

FRED. I begin to suspect something; and ’twou’d anger us vilely to be trussed up for a Rape upon a Maid of Quality, when we only believe we ruffle a Harlot.

BLUNT. Thou art a credulous Fellow, but adsheartlikins I have no Faith yet; why, my Saint prattled as parlously as this does, she gave me a Bracelet too, a Devil on her: but I sent my Man to sell it to day for Necessaries, and it proved as counterfeit as her Vows of Love.

FRED. However let it reprieve her till we see Belvile.

BLUNT. That’s hard, yet I will grant it.

Enter a Servant.

SERV. Oh, Sir, the Colonel is just come with his new 86Friend and a Spaniard of Quality, and talks of having you to Dinner with ’em.

BLUNT. ’Dsheartlikins, I’m undon I would not see ’em for the World: Harkye,Fred, lock up the Wench in your Chamber.

FRED. Fear nothing, Madam, whate’er he threatens, you’re safe whilst in my Hands.[Ex. FRED. and FLOR.

BLUNT. And, Sirrah upon your Life, say I am not at home or that I am asleep or or any thing away I’ll, prevent them coming this way.

[Locks the Door and Exeunt.