The Outside

[Verse 1]
Heh, Jesus Christ, I hate you...
...Or maybe I hate that I like you
Because there's just so many different things
That make me idolize you
Because you don't care about anything
Even it comes back to bite you
And cracks your spine in two
Spitefully grinding all your bones to powder
And you kinda need a shower
But you don't even care about appearances
Even when it clearly inconveniences
The people that you have been constantly living with
But, so what?
You say another day it passes by
You disregard essential things because they're hard
And throw away your winning cards
In favor of being more lazy
But the strategy seems to be working
Because everyone else is depressed
Even though you're probably much more deserving
And we all say
That we're a good person
But we don't talk about what's hidden
Right below the surface

[Chorus]
And don't lie to me, I know you haven't
At least I hope you'd do a broken savage
Because, if you don't, it means I'm alone
And hiding a person inside my home's attic
Who's so ravaged from holding on
But still holds a grin just despite me
Who [?] falls my psyche and teaches me
That all my dreams is so unlikely that they're not worth chasing

[Verse 2]
Abrasive, but he doesn't hate me
I think he's just too realistic
Because I prefer the safety
Of a world that I just wish existed
But he says that's not within my grasp
I felt my will begin to bend and break and crash
I used to try with things I care about
But I'm starting to care much less about everything!
Is it his fault? Is it my fault?
Well, he is me, so, who couldn't it be?
I shouldn't have to try to do what I'm doing now
I should have it down and not have to debate the way I pre-fer sounds
'Per-fer' is better, unnerved by letters
Of words that's slant and curved to fit my schemes
So perfectly when other rappers would've [?]
That puts mine to shame on any day I aim
To defy stereotypes that I claim to be lumped to
But I just tend to fall back to the same lines
That got me put there in the first place
Well, it seems my default settings are my worst ways
I'm in last place, never first place
I'm a bad guy on my best days
Never take time, I just rush things
And when the end product sucks, I don't know why
At a slow pace, where I want to be
But when it comes to this, I'm a wannabe
'Cause I write like rappers I've heard a thousand times
And then deny that what I say is reminiscent, it's ridiculous!