The Homeless Lady’s Revenge

[LISA]
Books for sale! "The Selected Stories of Gertrude Stein" only two bucks!

We have books
All sorts of fiction
You can buy at a discount
As of this count 103 books
From classics to mystery
Also gay history here
On the street

Where do I get them?
I have my sources
Readers, divorces, lives go bad
Kids go to college
Mothers throw their books away
And mothers throw their books away
When mothers get mad

We have books
Handsome books
All the books displayed in my trolley
Poems, porno and whackery
Also some Thackeray here, here
On the street

[GORDON]
First day out

[ROGER]
Just to the bank and back

[GORDON]
I feel about eight

[ROGER]
Don't hyperventilate
It's normal out on the street
Informal, lively and sweet

[GORDON]
It's raining which I abhor

[ROGER]
Ahem, but you won't find him complaining anymore

[GORDON]
No, no more

[LISA]
We have books

[GORDON/ROGER]
Life is wonderful

[LISA]
Fancy books

[GORDON/ROGER]
Very wonderful

[LISA]
Kind of damp but still quite legible
James Bond up through Doctor O
World's Fair to Doctor No here
On the street

[GORDON]
I can't believe what I see
Half these books belong to me
Half these books
With my name on the cover

[ROGER]
Some with the name of your lover

[GORDON]
But you have found my books
You have found my history
Oh, you don't know what this means to me
It means to me I live
I live

(speaking) But I'm not paying for my own goddamn books so we'll just take 'em right now

[ROGER]
Lady Grace
Do you recognise my face?

[LISA]
Two bucks

[ROGER]
In an uninviting place

[LISA]
Two bucks

[ROGER]
I am someone who you've counseled once before

[LISA]
Don't touch them!

[ROGER]
Blink or somehow try to show
I am someone who you know
Please forgive me if I stand here to implore
But here's his whole library
Which I think is very, very well-worth fighting for

[LISA]
I don't care if you're the King of England
I don't care if you're a saint
It's two bucks!

[GORDON]
What?!

[LISA]
I don't care if life's a silly picnic
Which is something that it ain't
It's two bucks! Two bucks!
If you were my mother
Uno, dos!

[GORDON]
Oh, god...

[LISA]
Two bucks
If you were my dog

[ROGER]
Where did you find them?

[GORDON]
You're making me crazy

[LISA]
I have my sources

[GORDON]
She's making me crazy

[LISA]
Readers, divorces

[ROGER]
Oh, Jesus Christ!

[LISA]
When lives go bad

[GORDON]
But these are mine!

[LISA]
Not anymore, they're not!
And mothers throw their books away

[GORDON]
These are mine!

[LISA]
Mothers throw their books away
When mothers get mad

[GORDON]
What?

[LISA]
Come buy them!

[GORDON]
No, no, no, no, no, come back here, she's got my books!

[ROGER]
Gordo, Gordo, Gordo! Gordo, what are you doing? They're only books

[GORDON]
What am I doing?