The Funkiest

[Intro (Sampled): Arthur Korb]
"It was the voice of a courageous explorer. A man dedicated to the pursuit of man's knowledge and the expansion of his horizons."

[Chorus (Sampled): Son Doobie]
The funkiest, the funkiest
The funkiest, the funkiest
The funkiest, the funkiest
The funkiest, the funkiest
The funkiest, the funkiest
The funkiest, the funkiest
The funkiest, the funkiest
The funkiest, the funkiest

[Hosts Commentary: Trials]
In nineteen-ninety-three the FunkDoobiest released "The 'Goddamn' Funkiest." Seinfeld was pretty cool, Kramer wasn't a fucking racist, and shit was fine. P-Della-Ressure, what's the deal for real?

[Verse 1: Pressure]
I'm the microphone felon, ignite the chrome weapon
We lifeless and might just do time for dope sellin'
Live on [?], nights of no restin'
Three-sixty-five I recite my flow, tell 'em
Golden Era is a force of law, a cold faction
We Rambo on the scene: less talk and more action
Villainous masterminds, limitless crafted rhymes
Killing the ceiling with these stars that shine, because I'm

[Verse 2: Vents]
It's so rotten in the post-modern
God is dead and man is dead
And truth is dead so move your head
Move the sickness, bad brains back with the quickness
Cancer rap, you get slapped for [?] (Slapped)
Can you dig this? Vents be like Cyrus
[?] I spit rhymes like a virus
Suicide pilot fly, plane in a tall buildin'
Kicks is made by small children
The funkiest

[Chorus (Sampled): Son Doobie (Suffa)]
The funkiest, the funkiest (Hilltoppers are)
The funkiest, the funkiest (Funkoarses are)
The funkiest, the funkiest (Golden Eras are)
The funkiest, the funki—

[Verse 3: Briggs]
Whoever said they're better than Briggs
I treat 'em like Ernie Dingo, I'm smackin' the kid
We backing desert [?]
Front-to-back I get it cracking like I'm packing a whip
I fucking hate cricket (Hate cricket) but I smack it for six
Straight off the radar, you ain't even a blip
Bet you couldn't be near it if you appeared in our clip
Because the funkiest is us and you're hearing it, bitch

[Verse 4: Hons]
Yeah, I'm back just in time for the beat drop
The notion of me falling off is dumber than Sharee was
Twenty-seven, I'm a grown man
I hold the world in my palm, but yet I crush it with both hands
And the industry hazy for fuck sake
It's not kosher, that's why I'm made like a cut snake
Gimme a drum break, sample, and a bass line
Hotel to nowhere and we all rollin' face tonight

[Verse 5: Suffa]
Check
Since the days of the "yes, yes, y'all"ing, shit
I've been ill like, "Let's just call in sick"
And I feel like they don't want it at all with this
They're like, "Let's just get our ball and stick
And call it quits", man, y'all can split
If this drawl is the best that y'all can spit
I'll boa constrict, chokehold in skits
'Cause I'm sick and I roll with the Golden clique

[Chorus (Sampled): Son Doobie (Suffa)]
The funkiest, the funkiest (Hilltoppers are)
The funkiest, the funkiest (Funkoarses are)
The funkiest, the funkiest (Golden Eras are)
The funkiest, the funki—

[Verse 6: Sesta]
You tell 'em "Keep it real", you tell 'em "Keep it raw"
They give them both and then deliver in nippy form
How I gotta make it clearer that Golden Era is here
It's cold, you gotta fold when you're all fear
It's no coincidence, young Padawan
A lot of you are toy, self-anointed rap stars
My form breaks 'em up first and pack one
Till I face the fuck out [?]

[Verse 7: Trials]
Now what the fuck else to do besides body the booth
I love rap, lived a life John Fogerty blues
Hot off the press, they upset that I'm growing my hair
When I just stop getting it cut, but thanks for showing you care, yeah
I know this dude that's never short on funds
And when I'm singing for my supper asks for door plus one
And then his boss come, covered in the southern cross tats
Couldn't point in the sky, show Drapht where it's at, like

[Chorus (Sampled): Son Doobie (Suffa)]
(Vents One is) The funkiest, the funkiest
(Hilltoppers are) The funkiest, the funkiest
(Funkoarses are) The funkiest, the funkiest
(Golden Eras are) The funkiest, the funkiest
(Vents One is) The funkiest, the funkiest
(Hilltoppers are) The funkiest, the funkiest
(Funkoarses are) The funkiest, the funkiest
(Golden Eras are) The funkiest, the funkiest
(Vents One is) The funkiest, the funkiest
(Hilltoppers are) The funkiest, the funkiest
(Funkoarses are) The funkiest, the funkiest
(Golden Eras are) The funkiest, the funkiest

[Hosts Commentary: Trials]
Um... yeah. So what's the deal? You're rocking with Trials. That's my name. This is the Golden Era Mixtape 2011, and next up we've got a sneaky-deaky little preview of the Funkoars album called The Quickening. What's the policy around here, Suffa?
SUFFA: No policy