The Certificate

[Intro: Trials & Suffa (Flak)]
Rap cats get served, murdered up, sliced
Every single night and that's the way we keep it right
Like that fuckers... (YEAH!!)
I'm just tricking though
Certified Wise in the house tonight (Certified Wise!)
Oi, when I say "Certified" you say "Wise"
We say Certified (Wise)
Certified (Wise)

[Verse 1: Suffa]
The Certified have arrived, extraordinaire extravagant
Beers like confidence, man I'm drinking until I'm arrogant
'Cause I'm a cocky fuck, hit your girl and I knock her up
Be like "what the fuck?", in the net like a hockey puck (score!)
Rappers get embarrassed when they see the way that we work
They try hide their shame like fat guys swimming in T-shirts
Research your Oz hip-hop before you step to us
And if you step, hands around your throat like a necklace

[Verse 2: Trials]
Mr Trials, young ladies gimme a call
My number's written next to fuck-wit on the chick's bathroom wall
I'm slightly easy and a tripe bit sleazy
With a wit of a red brick and chiselled body of Kim Beazley
My theory is, never touch the mic quite serious
A kid goes out on dates later than their next period
My crew's got it made, rocking the place
With more dope rappers to match every pram chilling at Colonnade's

[Verse 3: Edits]
It's Certified Wise, no need to tell you again
Because these cunts can be so funky that the smell would offend
A dyke's girlfriend, well then, let's get straight to the point, shall we?
This rowdy crowd of MCs and DJs know how to pound beats
Like kids with flat feet and crap beats walking down backstreets
So much work went into this the liner notes are fact sheets
Like Black Sheep I've got two words for those that slept
(nya, Nya nya no respect!)

[Verse 4: Mic Lez]
You thought it was safe, well guess what? (what?) best to beware
My plans will find your weak points (then what?) get up in there
Attack your mind, with a fine rhyme when I find time
And I'll find out if you're walking if you're talking the grape vine
I'll waste time. Need to take on the job at hand
The skills for this professional typical certified wise man
From sky to land, I'm overcoming all your schemes and plans
So take cover as I rain thunder upon you man

[Scratches: [?]]
"I manifest hip-hop in its highest degree"
"Certi—fied"
"Hip-hop's something I take very seriously"
"I so—socialise" "Certified" "Wise"

[Verse 5: Headlock]
Every song's a collection of kids' scarred lives
Like the porn section of Gary Glitters hard drive
Certified Wise throws agendas so hot
It'd make a married man give up his annual blowjob
You better show something, with Heady no bluffing
On the wrong side of my tracks, I'll smash your petticoat junction
In a suffering city, I'm punishing the pretty
And if you don't fucking kill me I'll crush you without pity

[Verse 6: Blockade]
I arrange certain words amongst silence
To be heard in abundance while MC's face redundance
Stereo speakers exceed beyond specifications
Through extended noise generations
Let's cut the conversations to a small chat
(Why's that?) I'm busy tryna react to the hi-hats
Blockade and Certified stand tall above ridiculous under-achievers
And constant non-believers (believers)

[Verse 7: Sesta]
I'm on stage with a handful of Panadols handing them out
'Cause of the head throbbing from the head nodding
And we about putting you out for the count like mic check
You ain't gonna get Certified respect
So hide your decks, your mics I might blackout
In a cipher when I still take the title
The name's Sesta, I snatch an 'L' plate
And slap it on your forehead with more force than porn sex

[Verse 8: DJ Debris]
It's the Hoodhist monks with the certified MC's
I'll make you nod your head like Parkinson's disease
So stand at ease, but don't step to our clique
I got a hundred metronomes just waiting to go sick
So take your pick, but not the axe or the shovel
After hours, I make beds rock like Barney Rubble
It's kinda subtle the way that my flow pours
And leave your ears up shit creek without a Funkoar

[Verse 9: Flak/Fatface]
Now Certified Wise got a hold of ya
We got the whole lot o' crop of magnolia
We're the fresh B-boys in Nike and Adidas
We're hotter than heaters and blowing up speakers
There's no half-steppers, we're far from a fake crew
We make rap music every Aussie can relate to
We'll never take a tumble, We're not gonna stumble
If you diss any member the result is "let's rumble"

[Scratches: [?]]
"Let me show you new rappers how to do a posse record"
"Let me show you new rappers how to do a posse record"
"Let me show you new rappers how to do a poss—poss—
Posse re—re—re—record"

[Verse 10: Simplex]
Complex compliments this simple, to complete this individual
Simplex the original beat, the hypocritical
Ridicule, the weaker techniques that leave you burnt
Like cannabis sativa, either
You do or you don't, we'll prove that you won't
Ever endeavour to get it together to better these fellas I'll be like whatever
You get it? You're wondering why you should never try
The reason Certified is Mr Nice with the wise guys

[Verse 11: Expressionist]
These crews stress, fully on a quest to be
Recognised, put up on a level next to me
And the Wise unified our lives, we bless the beat
We yet to see competitors who can compete with
Elaborate schemes they conjured up in their dreams
Have to be outta your mind to even battle this team
Masterminds of the game, nobody does it the same
When we leave the stage we're sure that you remember the name

[Verse 12: Kolaps]
You faggot MCs always compare one another
Studio 2000's where you shot your album cover
I provide patience to your shit dictation
Then commence domestic MC word castration
Like exitless effects from a psychedelic wanger
For you there's no escape like sperm in a franger
Simulated imitations fade away progressively
So go fuck yourself hermaphrodite MC

[Scratches: DJ Dyems]
"Yo this is DJ" "Dyems"
"Representing"
"Certified Wise"

[Verse 13: Trauma]
A dietarian, pages down, lyrical librarian
My strong line is carnivore, your line was vegetarian
Comparing them, I'm tearing them in two so don't you dare me then
Comparing them with them, I'm bringing heat like a solarium
You're staring then, you better step back while I'm preparing them
Certified lyrical delegates are all the sound-ions
Rebellions under one banner for new milleniums
The south is certified, it's so good like Sanitarium

[Verse 14: Integer/Artistik Intalekt]
I throw tempo-tempos, to scare those who dare oppose
Who don't compare the pros, I'm dressed in threadbare clothes
Still these rare flows got MCs pleading "Give us a fair go!"
Try to stop me, you don't realise the lengths to which I'm prepared to go
We should take a short journey and leave you at your wits-end
You get burnt like you're smoking a cigarette from the lit end
You're acting so feminine, you could be stressing about split-ends
Certified hit home with so much force they make bricks bend

[Verse 15: Hons]
The situation gets sticky like a perv with porn mags
My presence on stage will make your trailer horse gags
Staunch cat, horn bag, you know my style sucker
And that we make tracks to get you up like a fluffer
Certified wise, notorious to rip cunts
Dissing us will get costly like private shows at strip clubs
Beating me's a hard task by itself so fuck you
'Cause that's a fantasy like anal sex with Eliza Dushku

[Verse 16: Pressure]
This is my life and many come and go like one night stands
I treat live jams like a sermons, and in my mic hand
A holy get them ya bless ya, shit you never spit
The fresher shit than Pressure any means, risk or measure
This cut is deep, so pump a beat for my fucking peeps
I'm graded, X-rated the way that I come with tongue and cheek
We bring the ruckus like truckers in bar brawls
Certified Wise and we out like last calls