THE C+ SHANTY

CAST MY LINE
TWO HOURS AT A TIME!
BUT ALAS! THAT BLASTED BASS
WAS ALL I PULLED UP FROM THE BRINE!

THEY MOVED IN FAST
DESCENDING LIKE A STORM!
‘TILL EVERY BLOOMIN’ BAY WAS
BLIGHTED BY THE SWARM!

SEA BASS, FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE!
WORSE TO CATCH THAN A COLD OR FLEA!
SO LET’S BREAK LOOSE THE VACATION JUICE-
“ANOTHER ROUND ON ME!”

FROM SEA TO HOOK TO ME TO NOOK-
HALF A BAG OF BELLS FOR SEA BASS!

THEY’RE BAD!
THEY’RE WORSE!
A SOGGY CURSE
ALL ACROSS THE SEVEN SEAS!

EVERY BASS I CAUGHT
WAS THE LAST, I THOUGHT
BUT THE FISH OF MY WISHES
WAS NAUTICALLY NAUGHT!

THIS SEA BASS HERE IS ALL I’VE GOT
BUT AT LEAST IT’S A C+!

THE SHARKS TURNED TAIL!
THE KNIFEJAW BIT THE DUST!
EVEN THE SNAPPER’S DOWN THE CRAPPER
AND THE DAB’S BECOME A BUST!

I SOLD THREEFOLD
OF SEA BASS AT THE STORE
JUST TO RETURN TO SEA AND FISH OUT
FIFTY-THREE MORE!

SALTY SCOURGE OF THE OPEN SEA!
FILL YOUR POCKETS WITH MISERY!
SO DOWN A SLUICE OF VACATION JUICE-
“IT’S ALCOHOLIC-FREE!”

FROM SEA TO HOOK TO ME TO NOOK-
HALF A BAG OF BELLS FOR SEA BASS!

THEY’RE WET!
AND WEIRD…
THEY’RE IN ME BEARD!
AND THEY’VE SEIZED THE SEVEN SEAS!

NOT A SMIDGE OF FISH
THAT I’D HAD IN MIND;
ONLY BASS I’D RATHER HAVE
LEFT BEHIND

WORTH SIXTY-SOMETHING BELLS COMBINED
BUT AT LEAST THEY’RE A C+!

THEY ATE MY BAIT
AND BROKE MY GOLDEN POLE!
I WOULD MAKE THEM WALK THE PLANK
BUT THEN THEY’D JUST REJOIN THE SHOAL!

THOSE PISCINE PESTS
HAVE FLOODED EVERY SHORE!
WITH EVERY WRETCH I CATCH, I RETCH
A LITTLE BIT MORE!

TEN FOR YOU AND A TON FOR ME!
MARITIME TERROR IS ALL THEY BE!
SO RAISE A GLASS TO THAT CURSE’D BASS-
IT’S TIME TO CHANGE THE KEY!
AHHHH!

FROM SEA TO HOOK TO ME TO NOOK-
HALF A BAG OF BELLS FOR SEA BASS!

THEY BITE!
THEY SMELL!
WE DO, AS WELL-
AND THEY PLAGUE THE SEVEN SEAS!

THEY’RE GROTESQUE, DESPICABLE
AND ABHORRED
BUT THEY’RE ALL I’VE GOT
AND I CAN’T AFFORD

TO TOSS THE LOT OF ‘EM OVERBOARD
BUT AT LEAST… THEY’RE A… C+!

BUT AT LEAST IT’S A C+!