A Hat In Time: The Musical

Hey girl! (“Who, me?”)
I think it’s awesome how you
Rock that facial hair! (“Really?”)
So chic, yet debonair-
It bucks the trends! (“Oh, well…”)

Thanks, kid!
I gotta say, I got
A lot of enemies!
But you and me
We’re destined to be
Best friends!

“WOW! FRIENDSHIP HARMONY!!!”

This is gonna be so awesome!
This is gonna be so great!
We’re like lemon and lime-
-or like lyrics that rhyme!
And we’ve got all of the time…
…in the world!

“Let me give you a tour! This is the bridge… the observatory… cupholder… and these power the ship- oops!”

“Wait, did we just time travel?”

“Yeah. Crazy, right?”

Hey, kid!
I just came up with something
FUN to do together: ("Oh?")
We take every villain ever
And CRUSH THEM ALL! (“Oh, uh…”)

Let’s see…
My schedule’s loaded-
Also, those belong to me…
But Monday I’m free
To crush them at bocce ball~

“What’s that?”

“I think it’s played with a horse.”

You’re not being very awesome…
Weren’t you ever taught to share?
Look, I’m not at my prime
To be vanquishing crime-
-Good thing we’ve got all the time…
…in the world!

“Yes… good thing…”

Think of all the badguys we could kill!
-by killing them with kindness instead~
Imagine all the blood these could help us spill!
-I mean, like, spilling on their pants… while making them dead…

Can’t we at least agree
To drop this whole “killing spree?”
People like you and me are-
-much too smart to be so naïve!
You say they have a heart? Well that’s hard to believe!
See, violence is all that these brutes understand
And the power of time’s in the palm of my hand!

“Hey- What are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

“Well then let go…”

“I don’t think so…”

“This is MINE!”

“No, it isn’t!”

“Well, it would be if you’d TAKE YOUR GRUBBY HANDS OFF IT!”

Hey girl
I think this friendship
Like your lip, is getting hairy… (“HOW DARE YOU!”)
I’m getting kind of scary
Undertones…

“And I’m getting sick of this!”

Shove off!
I hate your hats and
You’re a stupid, awful friend!
So this is the end!
I’m spending my life alone!

I can’t let you take those pieces!
I can’t wait to break your nose!
And now I’m destined to climb
To the top, now that I’m
Controlling all of the time… (“Goodbye.”)

In the world!