The Bard’s Tale

[Chorus]
I'm on a quest (I'm on a quest)
I'm on a quest (I'm on a quest)
I just blew my whole check on a deck (On a deck)
I got 20 sided dice in my vest (In my vest)
I got maxed out stats, bitch I'm blessed (Bitch I'm blessed)

Look, I'm on a quest

Hold up, I just rolled for initiative (We rollin')
So you know I don't give a shit
Undefeated 'cause my flow is so ridiculous
Like a ranger with a bow I don't ever miss

Used to run dungeons from the A.M. to the P.M. (P.M.)
Now I'm lucky if I get a session on the weekend (Weekend)
Ladies made fun of me back when I was a DM (Master)
Now they see me rapping they stay jumping in my DMs

Aw shit, aw shit, I think I'm getting old
Started off with tabletops now I'm on MMOs
Bought a brand new set of dice that I don't get to roll
I'm just trying to find the time to level up my rogue

They try to get me into Everquest
But I didn't want to play without my spell deck (Nope)
I don't want to try new things, I think that's evident
I'm guessing old school is what I represent

[Chorus]
Look, I'm on a quest (I'm on a quest)
I'm on a quest (I'm on a quest)
I just blew my whole check on a deck (On a deck)
I got 20 sided dice in my vest (In my vest)
I got maxed out stats, bitch I'm blessed (Bitch I'm blessed)

[Chorus]
Look, I'm on a quest (I'm on a quest)
I'm on a quest (I'm on a quest)
I just blew my whole check on a deck (On a deck)
I got 20 sided dice in my vest (In my vest)
I got maxed out stats, bitch I'm blessed (Bitch I'm blessed)

Never had the time to pay attention to my haters (Haters)
I was busy spending paper on that pen and paper (Paper)
If she's not a roleplayer I could never date her (Date her)
I don't think this song could ever make it into Fader (Fader)

I remember getting wood for no reason (No)
Used to go to school in hand-me-downs and old sneakers (Nike)
But when I hit the dungeon, got a lot of gold pieces
I was chasing after platinum like [?] and no features (None)

I was making money mowing all my neighbor's yards (Yards)
Hit the store and spent it all on all the latest cards (Cards)
Always had my party smoking victory cigars [coughs]
Never went to class unless we talkin' 'bout my bard (OP)

That's why I'm not tryin' to pay off my tuition (No)
Never needed education, I just needed vision (Never)
Playing table top, I'm dedicated like religion (God)
Plus I'm slightly over-powered in the 5th edition

[Chorus]
Listen, I'm on a quest (I'm on a quest)
I'm on a quest (I'm on a quest)
I just blew my whole check on a deck (On a deck)
I got 20 sided dice in my vest (In my vest)
I got maxed out stats, bitch I'm blessed (Bitch I'm blessed)

[Chorus]
Look, I'm on a quest (I'm on a quest)
I'm on a quest (I'm on a quest)
I just blew my whole check on a deck (On a deck)
I got 20 sided dice in my vest (In my vest)
I got maxed out stats, bitch I'm blessed (Bitch I'm blessed)