The Ballad of Guiteau

[GUITEAU]
I am going to the Lordy
I am so glad
I am going to the Lordy
I am so glad
I am going to the Lordy
Glory hallelujah!
Glory hallelujah!
I am going to the Lordy...

[BALLADEER]
Come all ye Christians and learn from a sinner:
Charlie Guiteau
Bound and determined he'd wind up a winner
Charlie had dreams that he wouldn't let go
Said, "Nothin' to it
I want it, I'll do it
I'm Charles J. Guiteau!"

Charlie Guiteau
Never said "never" or heard the word "no"
Faced with disaster
His heart would beat faster
His smile would just grow
And he'd say:

[GUITEAU]
Look on the bright side
Look on the bright side
Sit on the right side
Of the Lord!
This is the land of
Opportunity
He is your lightning
You His sword

Wait till you see tomorrow
Tomorrow you'll get your reward!
You can be sad
Or you can be President!
Look on the bright side...

I am going to the Lordy...

[BALLADEER]
Charlie Guiteau drew a crowd to his trial
Led them in prayer
Said, "I killed Garfield; I'll make no denial
I was just acting for Someone up there
The Lord's my employer
And now He's my lawyer
So do what you dare!"

Charlie said, "Hell
If I am guilty, then God is as well!"
But God was acquitted
And Charlie committed
Until he should hang
Still, he sang:

[GUITEAU]
Look on the bright side
Not on the black side
Get off your backside
Shine those shoes!
This is your golden
Opportunity:
You are the lightning
And you're news!

Wait till you see tomorrow
Tomorrow you won't be ignored!
You could be pardoned
You could be President!
Look on the bright side...

I am going to the Lordy...

[BALLADEER]
Charlie Guiteau had a crowd at the scaffold—

[GUITEAU]
I am so glad...

[BALLADEER]
—Filled up the square
So many people that tickets were raffled
Shine on his shoes, Charlie mounted the stair
Said, "Never sorrow
Just wait till tomorrow
Today isn't fair
Don't despair..."

[GUITEAU]
Look on the bright side
Look on the bright side
Sit on the right side of the—

I am going to the Lordy
I am so glad!
I am going to the Lordy
I am so glad!
I have unified my party!
I have saved my country!
I shall be REMEMBEEEEEEEEEEEEERED!!!!!!!
I am going to the Lordy...!

[BALLADEER]
Look on the bright side
Not on the sad side
Inside the bad side
Something's good!
This is your golden
Opportunity:
You've been a preacher—

[GUITEAU]
Yes, I have!

[BALLADEER]
You've been an author—

[GUITEAU]
Yes, I have!

[BALLADEER]
You've been a killer—

[GUITEAU]
Yes, I have!

[BALLADEER]
You could be an angel—

[GUITEAU]
Yes, I could!

[BALLADEER]
Wait until tomorrow
Tomorrow they'll all climb aboard!
What if you never
Got to be President?
You'll be remembered—

[GUITEAU & BALLADEER]
Look on the bright side—
Trust in tomorrow—
And the Lord!