Table Top

Saturday night I’m bringing skills here at the table top
So much better at Monopoly than at this Nerdcore hip-hop
I won at Tongiaki, Uno, and Settlers of Catan
Hand me a twenty sided die and I’ll show you who is the man

Back up with a soda pop
Rolling doubles all night and I’m feeling hot
See that I’m getting outta jail free
Hitting duce 5s yo that’s my Free Parking
Feeling pretty dopehat knowin' I’m winning these games tonight
Collect 20 bucks from everybody who’s feeling good alright
Clean up the board and money while my buddy lifts the GM Screen
I got my D, my handbook, and my trusty character sheet
My warrior is known to do 8+1 with his fists
Turning orcs into clouds of blood wishing they didn’t exist

"Alright, you guys get to the dungeon, and you finally see the siren that's been causing all this trouble…"
"Can I have sex with it?"
"No, you can't have… you know what? You've been warned. Put your dice down."

Saturday night I’m bringing skills here at the table top
So much better at Monopoly than at this Nerdcore hip-hop
I won at Tongiaki, Uno, and Settlers of Catan
Hand me a twenty sided die and I’ll show you who is the man

I receive my XP then we proceed to some games of Munchkin
Thinking that I’m getting the good treasure? That’s a great assumption
Back down with the power glove
For once we’re gonna show this table love
Turn the TV off and grab some dice
This is how we roll mo-fo on nerd night
Nobody’s trading with Beefy when we play SOC
I tell 'em that I’ve got wood for sheep, they just make faces at me
We play some Ninja Burger my card says I do a backflip
3am but I don’t care my friend you know it’s time for conflict

Saturday night I’m bringing skills here at the table top
So much better at Monopoly than at this Nerdcore hip-hop
I won at Tongiaki, Uno, and Settlers of Catan
Hand me a twenty sided die and I’ll show you who is the man

Never been a fan of Scrabble
Words or birds or psychobabble
Thanks to the net I can beat my friends in Portland and Seattle
We need three days for some RISK
Trapped in Ukraine I slash wrists
But I sit back I don’t get pissed
I’ll win cause I’m an optimist
Game of Life? Don’t waste my time
I’d rather go back home and rhyme
I came here for games and friends
I wipe the smudge from off my lens
Then I stand up on my seat
Dispense this knowledge I decree
That nerd night is the greatest thing to happen to all of our lives

"Right, here's the thing; I… I love you. I love all of… I'm sorry, I love you."

Saturday night I’m bringing skills here at the table top
So much better at Monopoly than at this Nerdcore hip-hop
I won at Tongiaki, Uno, and Settlers of Catan
Hand me a twenty sided die and I’ll show you who is the man