Sunshine Etrnl_Ramona’s Envy

[Verse 1]
Laying on the bed whispering lies to myself
Hoping when I think and pray I can find myself some help
Wondering if the sun has problems that are similar
Or if mathematics feel loss when they supplement an integer
Literal
Cancerous back virus
Infiltrating the pieces that I've labeled as violent
Decibels reach the membrane and a snapchat occurs
And phalanges touch the collar bone at the end of every word
It's not the first time that guilt has sunken to the marrow
Or the coffin-like sleep patterns of a mummified pharaoh
I wish
What a joke
If wishes could really come true
I'd undo every wrong thing that I've ever done to you
Every wrong thing that I've done to me
Useful and abuse for the exchange of living comfortably
As of age, the crazy emotions who's logic starts to bleed
And somehow the best way to live is by jaded breath
I've gone insane and yet
Somehow I've found a plane of space to rage and rest
Potential is an underflow
Undergoing sediment to stabilize the other flows
I mean the proper pose
And the [?]
In the form of a Genghis Khan fire bomb
Or a proper method on
For distinguishing right and wrongs
And I've just found a pillow to lay upon

[Chorus]
I wish I had the strength to tell you that i loved you
But everything I've ever said has found it's way to lie
And the pain is an easy way to remain but alive
I'll probably take a ride where the sun doesn't shine
I wish i had the strength to tell you that i loved you
But everything I've ever said has found it's way to lie
And the pain is an easy way to remain but alive
I'll probably take a ride where the sun doesn't shine

[Verse 2]
Sometimes I wonder when the other me disappeared
If it died with my mother, brother, or lucid fears
It's part of a substantiating system of elusive tears
And the anime porn desktop seems to make me a little weird
I see the veins popping out of my wrist
But I haven't worked out since you told me that I was gonna miss
The held tight sentiment and an even deeper kiss
The photograph moments of when things seemed legit
Sometimes the apparatus doesn't find a way to fit it's counterpart
And unconsciously forfeits it
This water gate doesn't have the proper lift
So the villagers can't find a way to eat or shit
It's funny
Sometimes it seems my phone has a mind of it's own
It seems to vibrate at times when the light isn't on
Maybe it's my way of hoping that I'm wrong
To avoid the budding joke of something for so long
Commitment is strong
But it seems to be a bit stronger when my heart is alone
Because my conscious is grown
And my will to live seems a bit hard to hold
Especially when Jay died, it no longer has a home
A lavish lust and obsessive wants to feed
Love to control
I wonder if my mother's dead because she wanted to go

[Verse 3]
Contrary to belief, this isn't a waste of my time
It's a waste of a time frame where I'm wasting my life
If for some odd reason I can't figure the type of one
Litter the box, it's been a bane on my mind
Sitting Indian style, lost in my gaze in the computer screen
Looking at the pictures of when you were in love with me
Thinking if my head could emulate the feels you gave to me
Or if I'm just a level of insane that counteracts my maturity
I haven't let go because I see the solutions
But head always wraps around the most negative conclusions
Intrusion, intruder alert
I've always liked fast cars since I was a squirt
And my black two-door is like a stain on my shirt
Before an interview that determines the start of my worth
Check it

[Outro (Sample: Scott Pilgrim vs The World)]
Hey, it's me again, Scott, give me a call when you get this, Scott Pilgrim
(I swear this is like the Diary of a Wimpy Kid) What's the deal? Seriously
Yup, You said that last night
You know what really sucks though?
What?
Everything (I swear this is like the fucking Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
You can't say you didn't see this coming
What?
What did you think these were?
Kisses? (Diary of a Wimpy Kid) Sentimental Kisses?
Seven deadly exes
Oooh, why does everything have to be so complicated?
If you want something bad, you have to fight for it
Step up your game Scott, break out the L word
Lesbian?
The other L word
Lesbians?
(I swear this is like the Diary of a Wimpy Kid) It's love Scott, I wasn't trying to trick you
Hey, Buddy, look, if she really is the girl of your dreams, then you have to let her know
You have to overcome any and all obstacles that lie in you path
(I swear this is like the Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
You can do it! Be with her! It's your destiny
Plus, I need you to move out
What?
Yeah, I'm kind of banking on her calling you back so i don't have to evict you and feel all guilty and shit
(Ringing) I have a feeling that's for you guy
Hey
Hey, Scott
Envy?
Oh shit
Been a while
Yeah
A year I think
Approximately
How are you?
I'm not doing so good right now
Aw, that's too bad
Still breaking hearts?
What? No I've been- It's been different
You have no idea
Probably not
Do you have a girlfriend? Should I be... jealous?
Yes, you should, I have this totally awesome girlfriend who calls me all the time and she's America
Er, She's American
What's her name?
I'm not telling you that
Ramona
Oh
What? Do you know her?
What? No
Well it sounded like you did
I gotta go, it's been nice chatting with you
Wait