SELF-SABOTAGE

I feel like the only one that's stuck up in the desert
Thinking 'bout taking my life but that won't make it better
I'll just be another statistic in some nigga's header
And I made a promise to my mother that I would never
But it's hard when you the only one that cares about you
Head down, trying to stop the fucking everyday blue
And I'll admit, I bit off more than I can chew
Despite my moral higher being, still I gotta choose
Between the light and the dark
It's still a fight in my heart
Self-sabotaging evеrything, right from the start
If this is all a play, then I'm not really liking my part
If god is rеal then tell me, do I gotta die in this arc?

Sitting in a room with myself when the sun go down
No water but I'm feeling like I could drown
Got a bunch of money sitting in my bank account
But I'm still not happy when my heart hit ground

But it don't mean nothing to me
I don't wanna be numb
I wake up every day
Wishing I had a gun
So I could finally do it
In my head, "fuck everyone"
I don't want the attention
I don't wanna see the sun
I wanna leave all the evil and demons
People that breathe to be leeches
I cannot see all the pieces
Everything is not peaches
You like me when it's convenient
Thinking that I ever need it

The fall never been so cold
Sit here everyday aging I been feeling old
Keep my mouth shut with all the shit that I know
You won't see me different so how could I grow?
Took a quick trip now I'm missing that room

Sitting in a room with myself when the sun go down
No water but I'm feeling like I could drown
Got a bunch of money sitting in my bank account
But I'm still not happy when my heart hit ground