Sales Freak

[Verse 1]
Let me tell you 'bout a crazy story
Let me tell you what I do for fun
Let me tell you 'bout my fame and glory
Odd job hobby, two for one

I like playing with the minds of the people
I like saying all my lines really well
People tell me that I’m kinda deceitful
But I ain’t tryna play you I’m just trying to sell

Well I’m oversharing so I’ll spare you the details
Presales, Retail
Can I get your email? (please)
When I’m famous I’ll be making it a sequel
Death of a salesman Asian female!

Life is sales and sales is life
And if I fail in love I’ll make sales my wife
You might not quite get it or know the appeal
But Imma show you mothafuckas how to close the deal

[Pre-Chorus]
Let me see you put your wallets in the air
Wave 'em around like you just don’t care
And it might seem a little bit scary
Don’t worry, a price tag is arbitrary! (That’s right!)

Let me see you put your wallets in the air
Wave 'em around like you just don’t care
We only live for a limited time
So call now and get it for just 9.99

[Chorus]
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak

[Verse]
Other girls like to go for the clothes
I prefer to try to go for the close
Get my freak on when I’m hitting the phones
Or when I’m busy getting everyone to go to my shows

Ha
'Cause I’ve been selling all over the place
I put a foot in the door or get a door in the face
I could get a broken toe and still get in the gate
And then I follow these steps when it’s time to negotiate

Step one, establish value
Write a pitch so rad, it could smash a statue
Step two, define your market
How you gonna make a sale without finding your target?

Step three, anchor the price
By using a high number as a priming device
Step four, assume the sale
Be assertive and confident, and you will prevail

Now

[Pre-Chorus]
Let me see you put your wallets in the air
Wave 'em around like you just don’t care
And it might seem a little bit scary
Don’t worry, a price tag is arbitrary! (That’s right!)

Let me see you put your wallets in the air
Wave 'em around like you just don’t care
We only live for a limited time
So call now and get it for just 9.99

[Chorus]
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak

[Verse 3]
When you’re sitting in the boiler room
Think of what your employer would do
Cold calling is annoying, it’s true
So how do you haul ass while enjoying it too?

I like to think of it as exercise
'Cause actually sales tactics are effective in life
If you happen to be like me, the competitive type
You could hack your daily habits with some mental advice

Say, hey, maybe you’ve having dating trouble
Change your ways and think about it like a sales funnel
'Cause whether you’re a sex god or virgin
Increasing prospecting increases conversion

Here’s a tip from a psychology nerd
Humans have a hard-wired reciprocity urge
So if you offer something nice or some advice to somebody
They’ll wanna buy your product more (did it work, it probably worked)

The theory of cognitive dissonance
(What’s that?)
Is an easy way to operate business
(Why’s that?)
Human beings want to seem consistent
Contradict their beliefs, make them question existence
(Woo)

Animatronic behavioral economics
Can make you a profit off of the product of your choice
I don’t need a Rolls Royce, I just need my sales knowledge
World domination with my voice and degree from college

[Pre-Chorus]
Let me see you put your wallets in the air
Wave 'em around like you just don’t care
And it might seem a little bit scary
Don’t worry, a price tag is arbitrary! (That’s right!)

Let me see you put your wallets in the air
Wave 'em around like you just don’t care
We only live for a limited time
So call now and get it for just 9.99

[Chorus]
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak
I’m, I’m, I’m a sales freak