Round 5: Will the Real Sonny Liston Please Fall Down

[Muhammad Ali]
Friends, Romans, countrymen! Lend me your ears! I come to bury Liston, not to praise him. I'm going to fight Sonny Liston, that is if he doesn't chicken out. I will win that fight, because I'm president of the boxing world! And this fist is my veto. I am the greatest! Mr. Liston is an old man! He's 30 years old! He has no business bein' in the same ring as me. I'd like to help that poor man. I want to give him lessons: boxing lessons, talking lessons, I'll teach him anything! But since he's gonna fight me, what he needs most is falling lessons.

He can't fight, I watched him shadow boxing! And his shadow won in the first round! And then he has the nerve to say to the newspapers, that I need respect knocked into me! When it was him who was disrespectful to me! He says I'm cocky, when it was he who has the nerve to think he belonged in the same ring with me. He should be ashamed of himself!

I can picture my fight with old man Liston. I will step into the ring, looking like a beautiful movie star. And for the first six rounds I'll go pop-pop-pop, and dance away so fast, Liston will think he's surrounded. And then I'm really gonna start swinging. And I'm gonna get angry. And I'll hear a voice saying: "Control yourself. Sure, you've got a headache, you're tired and irritable, but that's no reason to take it out on poor old Sonny." [laughter]

After... after I finish with old Mr. Liston, the President is gonna send out a proclamation, and Liston's jaw will be declared a disaster area. My only regret is, I won't be able to be at ringside, giving a blow-by-blow description of the eight round. That's the last round. I would report that round in poetry. As a matter of fact, I have already written a poem that describes it. Here is the 8th round of the Clay-Liston fight, exactly as it will happen.

[Bell rings]

Clay comes out to meet Liston, and Liston starts to retreat
But if he goes back an inch farther, he'll end up in a ringside seat
Clay swings with his left, Clay swings with his right
Look at young Cassius carry the fight!
Liston keeps backing, but there's not enough room
It's a matter of time ere Clay lowers the boom
Now Clay lands a right, what a beautiful swing
The punch raises Liston clear out of the ring
Liston still rising, and the ref wears a frown
For he can't start counting till Sonny comes down
Now Liston disappears from view, the crowd is getting frantic
But our radar stations have picked him up:
He's somewheres over the Atlantic!
Who would have thought when they came to the fight
That they'd witness the launching of a human satellite
Yes, the crowd did not dream, when they put down their money
That they would see a total eclipse of the Sonny

[Bell rings, applause]