Rich Man

Diamonds and emerald pearls, silver and gold
Roll in a Beamer, Mazaratti, a Ferrari, a Rolls
Benjamins in multiples of tens in rolls
Persian rugs and drugs filling cereal bowls

A fleet of limousines idle lined in the lot
A penthouse with a helipad, a 50-foot yacht
A mansion in the Hamptons and a getaway spot
These are just a few of the things that I have not

I'm so stone-cold broke, you know it's no joke, I get
A embarrassing paycheck, half pays the late rent
Half Uncle Sam gets, I haven't been paid yet
The only big numbers I ever see are in my debt

I can't believe I still live this life, I cry "When's this
Ship I've heard so much about gonna get in?" It's
Ridiculous I'm sick of this shit driven witless
Can I get a witness? Can I get ten cents?

Can I pay my dues and use my debit? Get it?
Swipe it, type in my PIN, rejected, forget it
Denied, had I a dime every time ATMs said it
I dread it, but my migraine is worse than my credit

And I got holes in my pockets like the ulcers in my tummy
Some receipts in my wallet stuck to something black and gummy
Disposition so unsunny, wanna hear you everybody
Say "No money money no money money money!"

(CHORUS):
And I ain't got no money
I'm so broke it ain't funny
No land of milk and honey
For me, envy everybody

Oh when will my ship get in?
On the dock I sit with an
Open hand and it's a bitch, man
Living like this in the land of the rich man

I've been living this poor – well, I guess for
Forever, and I bet I will forever more
Barely eking by, seeking out the dollar stores
For necessities upsettingly I still cannot afford

Every week for forty hours juggle taking orders
Every weekend struggle try to buy a beer with quarters
Days are getting longer but my life is getting shorter
Can't afford the paper, read it in the corner at Borders

I have resorted to cutting corners, tightened my belt
Till I felt it in my pelvis, buckle-shaped welts
Help an overall deterioration of my health
Which is supposed to be the least I have in lieu of no wealth

And I tell myself I gotta get a job that pays
More than I've ever made more than minimum wage
I try to save for rainy days in wide array of ways
A half-price sale at the dime store for dollar days

What would I do with a fortune? Plenty
Of course now I would even settle for twenty
Or a tenny just so I could get breakfast at Denny's
Instead of standing at the CoinStar, jar full of pennies

Gotta play the lotto if I wanna win it
Luck will win a one-way ticket from this rut in which I'm stuck
They say the best things in life are free, I say that sucks
The best stuff costs fifty bucks and up

One million dollars, let me break it down
In single bills it would weigh over 2,000 pounds
That's 1,000 Benjamin Franklins and
5,000 pictures of Ulysses S. Grant and

10,000 Andrew Jacksons and
20,000 Alexander Hamiltons
And another 30,000 Abraham Lincolns
And 50,000 of the George Washingtons

Plus another 100,000 of him in quarters
Add 200,000 FDR dimes to the order
50,000 nickels plus five times as many
Right-facing copper-headed Honest Abe pennies

And that's plenty of cheddar, that's a thick stack of lettuce
That's a whole lot of dough, a great big loaf or bread, it's
A big chunk of change with which man
Even an Oliver Twist kid could live like a rich man

Money, it's a drag, the root of all evil
Can't buy happiness, can't buy people
Put a price on everything, grab at the brass ring
Brass in my pocket going jing-a-ling-a-ling, sing!

Cash rules everything around me, C.R.E.A.M
Rags to riches, it's the American dream
Gold digging, big living, riches swimming in them
And I'm running a rat race, the rich man's winning, and um

(CHORUS)