My Last Song

You know, it only took a couple of days
To make this last song, the one that now plays
I never really had a song that worked well to close
Every bad-ass set from all of my bad-ass shows

But now I got one, and I think it’s a hot one
It's so new some of the lyrics are forgotten
Like here...
It’s awkward, I know, but it doesn’t happen very often

It didn’t take a lot to put it together
Using my Mac, well it’s an iMac, but you know, whatever
Got a file sharer, Limewire for example
Downloaded MP3’s that I needed for samples

The drums came from James Brown, an oft-bitten hit
And the bass and guitar came from Rocket From the Crypt
I dragged and dropped the files into Pro Tools 6
Which I haven’t really mastered, but I know some cool tricks

I chopped it up and reassembled it in new layers
I exported, imported it to my MP3 player
I listened as I scribbled on the 1-4 bus
In my notebook I wrote this fun chorus. It goes…

(CHORUS):
This is my last song, I gotta go
I’d like to thank you one and all for coming out to the show
And if you didn’t like my act or thought my set was too long
You’re in luck, it’s nearly over, this is my last song
This is my last song, it is my last song, last song

Think there’s another? Well, that’s wrong

Really, it’s the last song, and then there’s no more
I’m flattered, but please don’t ask me for an encore
It always seems to me to be so fake when that happens
"Thank you good night!" And then wait for the crowd’s clapping?

I mean it, man, when this song is over, I’m done
Want a free sticker? Then come and get one
I’d like to thank you all again for staying so late
It’s crowds like you that make playing so great

I’ve got some CDs to sell, they only cost ten dollars
If you can’t afford it now, send me an electronic holler
Sign my mailing list, and later on, log on
To my website, it’s Schaffer the Darklord dot com

Hey, could someone in the house be a dear
And maybe run to the bar and get me another beer?
Thanks! You know I’d handle the matter
But I’m out of drink tickets. Thanks! Sierra Nevada

(CHORUS)
If I had I’d hit a brass gong

"At this time I would like to thank everybody and everything that made tonight's show possible, in no particular order."

Let’s hear it for the door guy, hear it for the soundman
Hear it for the bar staff, hear it for the other bands
Hear it for the audience, this one really rocks
Let’s hear it for the venue, hear it for my Black Box

Let’s hear it for the city, let’s hear for the street
Let’s hear it for my friends who made some of my killer beats
Let’s hear it for DB, the name of my label
And once again, please buy my CDs at the merch table

Let’s hear it for the Internet, let’s hear it for Craig's List
Let’s hear it for the booking agent and the guest list
Let’s hear it for weed, let’s hear it for sound checks
Let’s hear it for both coasts as well as the Midwest

Let’s here it for America, the north hemisphere
Let's hear it if you came because your crush is here
Let’s hear it for this show, it’s been outta sight
My name is Schaffer The Darklord. Thank you and goodnight