Release the Kraken

[Spoken Intro: Danny Sexbang, Arin Hanson]
King Danny, the realm is under attack!
My God... the day has finally come. It is time to release the Kraken!

[Verse 1: Danny Sexbang]
Look in the distance
Beyond the castle gates
The armies of the damned have come
On the horizon
They gather beneath the blood-red sun
The blood-red sun

A thousand warriors
Demons and orcs
Charging like a tornado
But they will never know
That their death awaits in waves below
In the waves below

[Spoken Interlude 1: Danny Sexbang]
We must now unleash the monster
May God forgive us!

[Chorus: Danny Sexbang, Brian Wecht]
Release the Kraken!
Hey, guys!
The tolling of the iron bell
Release the Kraken!
I'm the Kraken!
Rising from the depths of hell
Graaaah--ack! *coughing*
Does anyone have a Lozenge?

[Verse 2: Danny Sexbang]
Out on the battlefield
The armies collide
And hundreds die where they stand
In screaming agony
The shadow of war across the land
All across the land

Now let's end the fight
It's time to decide
Whose blood will finally be spilled
Our secret weapon
A specter of hate who's born to kill
He was born to kill

[Spoken Interlude 2: Danny Sexbang]
The time is now! Go forth, Kraken! Leave nothing but corpses!

[Chorus: Danny Sexbang, Brian Wecht]
Release the Kraken!
I'm in a song!
A creature of Satanic rage
Release the Kraken!
Who wants sandwiches?
Bursting from its sunken cave

[Guitar Solo]

[Spoken Interlude 3: Arin Hanson, Brian Wecht]
Release the Kraken!
Hey, look, I found a bell!

[Chorus: Danny Sexbang, Brian Wecht]
Release the Kraken!
DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING!
Impervious to sword and bow
Release the Kraken!
I've got a splinter
Death incarnate from below
Release the Kraken!
Oops, I falled over!
All shall drown in his domain
Release the Kraken!
Splishy-splashy!
The harbinger of fear and pain

[Spoken Outro: Danny Sexbang, Brian Wecht]
Well, you did nothing. The war is lost. Thanks, Kraken
You're welcome!