Rappin’ Rodney

[Intro]
I tell ya, I'm alright now
But last week I was in rough shape
But I don't get a break with nothin'!

[Verse 1]
I played hide and seek when I was three
(No respect, no respect)
Why, they wouldn't even look for me
(No respect, no respect)
I was an ugly kid, I never had fun
(No respect, no respect)
They took me to a dog show and I won!
(No respect, no respect)
When I was born I brought no joy
(No respect, no respect)
My old man said he wanted a boy
(No respect, no respect)
I was an ugly kid, always alone
(No respect, no respect)
Halloween, I had to trick or treat over the phone
(No respect, no respect)

[Pre-Chorus]
Friends don't call, my phone don't ring
I don't get a break with anything!
(What's the matter, Rodney?)
Ah, death, where is thy sting?!

[Chorus]
It's just Rappin' Rodney, ain't wrapped too tight
No, no, Rappin' Rodney, get out of sight
It's just Rappin' Rodney, make no mistake
Poor old Rappin' Rodney, can't get a break!

[Verse 2]
I'm getting old, it's hard to face
(No respect, no respect)
When during sex I lose my place
(No respect, no respect)
Steak and sex, my favorite pair
(No respect, no respect)
I have 'em both the same way, very rare
(No respect, no respect)
I know I'm old, I could go any minute!
(No respect, no respect)
I got a kidney-shaped pool with a stone in it
(No respect, no respect)
Doctor Vinnie Boombatz, that's another one
(No respect, no respect)
I said I wanna stop aging, he gave me a gun!
(No respect, no respect)

[Pre-Chorus]
I told him I got water on the knee
He gave me a sponge and raised his fee!
(What's the matter, Rodney?)
Ah, it ain't easy bein' me

[Chorus]
It's just Rappin' Rodney, ain't wrapped too tight
No, no, Rappin' Rodney, get out of sight
It's just Rappin' Rodney, make no mistake
Poor old Rappin' Rodney, can't get a break!

[Bridge]
Now, gimme a break! Play something from the 40s!
Now, what kinda music is this? How about "Stardust"?
Man, what are you doin'?! That's not "Stardust"!
Listen to this, will ya? I mean, where are the flutes?
What a band... ey, don't quit your day jobs
Look at this, the drummer carries the melody!
Hey, tell the bass player I like his instrument
Hey boys, keep it going! Lay it on me, I'm in the groove!

[Verse 3]
Nothing goes right, I just can't fight it
(No respect, no respect)
Well, Eastern Airlines thanked me for flying United!
(No respect, no respect)
I got some money, what did I do?
(No respect, no respect)
I bought some quicksand, the deal fell through!
(No respect, no respect)
My car broke down, I called Triple A
(No respect, no respect)
They left the car and towed me away!
(No respect, no respect)
I can't take it no more, I'm getting too old
(No respect, no respect)
I called Suicide Prevention, they put me on hold!
(No respect, no respect)

[Pre-Chorus]
Winter, summer, spring, and fall
I'm always up against the wall!
(What's the matter, Rodney?)
Ah, I don't get no respect at all

[Chorus]
It's just Rappin' Rodney, ain't wrapped too tight
No, no, Rappin' Rodney, get out of sight
It's just Rappin' Rodney, make no mistake
Poor old Rappin' Rodney, can't get a break!

[Outro]
It's getting worse, it's caving in!
The heaviness, I can't take it no more
It's all over... hey, where are my kids?
Somebody help me! Hey, bartender!
Hey, who's that guy with my daughter?
Where's my wallet? How do I get outta here?
Stop that dancing...!