Oy, The Mistakes I Made

Oy, the mistakes I made
I should have spent more time in the shade
Kept the curtains closed
So the fabrics wouldn’t fade
Oy the mistakes I made
Oy, the money I spent
Why’d I have to buy in Boynton
For three weeks I could rent
Instead I paid the maintenance
While cousins came and went
Oy, the money I spent
I can take an insignificant pain
Turn it into a runaway train
I keep doing it again and again
It just feels so damn good
To complain
Oy, the days I blew
Collecting all that stupid Steuben
Why not just a few
Maria broke the porcupine
The frog and swans too
Oy, the days I blew
It just feels so damn good
To complain
Oy, the things I’ve said
Slipped out in conversations
Landing like a piece of lead
Making any sort of interaction
Something that I dread
Oy, the things I’ve said
An empty seat for someone to fill in
That Linda Rosen seemed so nice and willin’
I used a recipe from Calvin Trillin
Things were going well till I
Tied her up with my tefillin
Oy, the mistakes I hope to make
If I live a long time
That’s why I gave up cake
Now I’m sprinkling flax seed
On a three ounce piece of steak
Probably just another mistake
I wonder if my flax seed is fake
This is why I lay awake
Thinking about my mistakes
It just feels so damn good
To complain