I’m Old Enough To Be Your Zaide

I love the sound of your voice
You purr like a vintage Rolls Royce
But I simply have to question your choice
When you could be with any one of many boys
I love the look in your eye
The color of a Tel Aviv sky
But I just have to ask you why
When you could have your pick of any other guy
We’re not on the same page
So darling act your age
You’re digital and I’m still beta
I’m old enough to be your Zaide
I love the touch of your hand
Can you tell me if I have a swollen gland
Why are we here – this musical got panned
I wish the manager would just turn down the band
This nightlife’s for the birds
I’m choking on my words
I need the Heimlich – someone call a big waiter
I’m old enough to be your Zaide
I can’t believe how you invigorate me
Oh how I love to reciprocate the way you sate me
But then my mind imagines how your parents must hate me
Thank God for cheap generics that inflate me
Now get off of my lap
I gotta take a nap
You’re asking questions while I’m trying to lead a Seder
I’m old enough to be your Zaide
I lied on JDate
Go get yourself a playdate
I love the touch of your skin
Are you sure we’re not committing a sin
If something happens notify my next of kin
My daughter Marla’s got the safe deposit pin
It’s ten o’clock, I’m tired
And look at you, you’re wired
The news is on, they’re talking ’bout Al Qaeda
I’m old enough to be
I need a cup of tea
Be careful of my knee
My left eye’s bothering me
I’m old enough to be your Zaide