Overthinking

[Verse 1]
Lately I've been overthinking
Lately I've been wrestling
With so many thoughts of depression
These suicidal suggestions
Maybe I'm the reason she left
I've been holding back these emotions
I'm settling every score
When I tell you this is the way that I feel
I wanted more than this, more than this
Lately I've been overthinking
Lately I've been struggling
With anxiety through the mention
Of trying to find a job
So the search continues on
Been serving rеsponsibility
To pay the bills I have
But thesе negative little things
Start to wear my soul down
I feel lost, I feel lost
Lately I've been overthinking
Maybe I should find the reason
For these mental health issues in my family tree
Don't I wish I had the choice to avoid these things
It's been a couple years coming, so we deal with the pain
And every decision is paired along with a chain
I never listened to wisdom, I saw my life in vain
And now the bitterness is still the only thing that remains
I'm tryna grow into a person they don't want me to be
When they start to see you change, they attack underneath
Everything you ever did, just to throw at your feet
Showing very little grace, hoping you don’t succeed
I wish I had it all together, but it's never what it seems
As I'm following the stars and I'm chasing my dreams
Tryna find my faith and everything in between
So maybe I can finally become what I believe
Overthinking

[Verse 2]
Lately I've been overthinking
And lately I've been drinking
To put away all the pain from the failures that I faced
Cause I'm tired of the rain and the things that I've done
You can't escape these drugs
But you can always try to run
But I promise the addiction
It'll always catch up to you, back to you
Lately I've been overthinking
Lately I've been stressing over
Every little thing you can name A to Z
I don't know if I should stay
But I probably should leave
I feel like everything around me is starting to fall
And just to be completely honest
I wish I would've called It's too late, it's too late
Lately I've been overthinking
Lately I've been overthinking
This is not the way I wish I could've lived
But I feel that I don't have another way
When I'm standing on that stage
All them lights on me
Spotlight so green, I'm so incomplete
I know the truth will never change
But it feels so weak
And if I have to give my all
You can count on me
I'm tryna grow into a person
They don't want me to be
When they start to see you change
They attack underneath
Everything you ever did
Just to throw at your feet
Showing very little grace
Hoping you don’t succeed
They used to tell me I was nothing
But I'm finally free
And it's a waste of my time
If I'm a care what you think
It took me three whole years
I made this album for me
I'm waiting on brighter days
I'm alive as can be
Overthinking