Over the Years

A lot of shit has happened, Over the years
I was pure, but I've blackened, Over the years
They all say I've been slackin', Over the years
Through this pain I've been havin', Over the years
They all just kept laughin', Over the years
But they don't see I have saddened, Over the years
A lot of shit has happened, Over the years
Let me tell you what's happened, Over the years

From the start of my life I knew I was different
I'd be stittin' in class, mind driftin' and wishin'
I could be like the rest of the kids n fit in
I had a very low self esteem that needed fixin'
I was shy, would never lie, in my eyes, I despised
Kids who didn't try in school, I would just wonder why
Cause it didn't make sense to me, I was that guy
Who would go for straight A's way before 8th grade
When nobody gave a fuck about class I would stay
Up to date with my homework and do it everyday
I never got in trouble, except for a couple
Detentions cause I was humble, and never rumbled
With no one, I was scared to speak against anyone
I was content with my 2 friends, we had plenty fun
I was content with it all and prayed it would remain
The same, plain simple life and nothing would change

A lot of shit has happened, Over the years
I was pure, but I've blackened, Over the years
They all say I've been slackin', Over the years
Through this pain I've been havin', Over the years
They all just kept laughin', Over the years
But they don't see I have saddened, Over the years
A lot of shit has happened, Over the years
Let me tell you what's happened, Over the years

Now it's the summer prior to high school and I was wrong
Thinking that my easy life in middle school would last long
Cause I just went through a whole year, dealing with bullies
Letting all of them pull me around, knowing fully
That I shouldn't be taking it, and I'd be making it
Worse, by elevating it, I was playing it
By making myself look dumb, though I was hating it
I still made fun of myself, for attention
Then going home, pissed off with the apprehension
That I'd do more dumb shit and increase the tension
In my mind, with my thoughts, there's no prevention
It hurt my self esteem and furthered my ascension
So 9th grade starts, and my anxiety is rising
Finding no new friends, but the bullying's declining
Refining me a little, but still far from shining
Cause I was still not standing up for what I believed
And I could see I could never be free, or relieved
If I always flee when no one agrees with me
But these rappers always helped me escape and abate
My pain a little cause I could relate to the hate
They would state on their tapes, so I decided to make
My own rap songs, it would be me and my best friend
We would rap until we die, though we were just freshmen
We'd be fire, cause our desire couldn't get higher
But we wouldn't share it, so it couldn't backfire
And inspire bullies to make fun of us 'til we tired
So I started rapping non stop, it turned into my life
Each night I'd write and freestyle into the mic
Then one day, almost through 9th grade, it all changed
Cause that night I was to stray away from my old ways
And smoke weed for the first time, and it felt great
Who would have thought getting caught would make our friendships break?

A lot of shit has happened, Over the years
I was pure, but I've blackened, Over the years
They all say I've been slackin', Over the years
Through this pain I've been havin', Over the years
They all just kept laughin', Over the years
But they don't see I have saddened, Over the years
A lot of shit has happened, Over the years
Let me tell you what's happened, Over the years

Starting 10th grade more depressed than I've ever been
Cause I lost my only friends thinking I could never win
Their parents trust back, if I made 1 lesser sin
It would be the same, and I would be forever in
The same friend group, and they wouldn't have found better men
To chill with, and I wouldn't be lonely and weatherin'
Speed ahead, I'm in 11th grade, and the hate
Made in my veins runs through my body into my brain
Making me not give a single fuck about nothin' wantin'
Nothin' except to get big with this rap shit, I'm gunnin'
At anyone comin' at me, cause I've been runnin'
Away from opposition, but now I'm confrontin'
With somethin' up my sleeve, there is no more fuckin'
Around, I can't take anymore fucking losses
I've got my dream, but everything else, I've lost it
And it's shot this hole in my heart, making me rotten
So I'm saggin' my pants, always high and rappin'
In school I'm slackin', but dealing's got me stackin'
Actin' like a captain, my peers wonder what happened
To the kid who was always crackin' jokes and laughin'
Well, that kid was bullied, left behind with nothing left
Except for his head, his pad, and his quest to molest
The best beats and impress everyone to show he's blessed
And anyone who tests his ability, gets wrecked
The old me cared, now I simply just don't give a fuck
I want to bust a nut in this game, plus erupt
And become what I've dreamed of, so there's no time for sluts
Or anyone, cause nothing can stop me from going up

A lot of shit has happened, Over the years
I was pure, but I've blackened, Over the years
They all say I've been slackin', Over the years
Through this pain I've been havin', Over the years
They all just kept laughin', Over the years
But they don't see I have saddened, Over the years
A lot of shit has happened, Over the years
Let me tell you what's happened, Over the years