Otto (I Miss You)

I watched you pull the chain on your belt while you lied to me
I listened to you tell your friends about when you were seventeen
You reminded me of your father, a coward and a shame
I wanted to hold you but I knew I should refrain

I tried to fill the silences by forgetting about the past
And as we got high I tried to make you laugh
I hope you felt some sort of fire in your chest
I wonder if you felt anything when I left

But it doesn't matter
It doesn’t matter if you don’t care
I’ll still love you with everything I’ve got
It don’t matter, it don’t matter if you don’t love me
‘cause you the first to ever try

Otto, I miss you
Otto, I miss you
Otto, do you ever think of me?
Otto, you’re always on my mind

I was going to tell you on the way to the airport
No matter how much my teeth or tongue hurt
No matter how my throat burned or my gums bled
But my jaw locked and I stayed silent

And on the plane ride home I ate myself alive
In front of the strangers sleeping next to me, I cried
I read your letter again when I got home
I put it in a drawer, and drowned myself in the bathtub

But it doesn't matter
It doesn’t matter if you don’t care
I’ll find people like you and love you through them
It don’t matter, it don’t matter if you don’t think of me anymore
I’ll kiss my Lori’s lips through someone who reminds me of you

Otto, I miss you
Otto, I miss you
Otto, do you ever think of me?
Otto, I miss you
And Otto, I love you
My Otto, I love you, still
Otto, I miss you
Otto, I miss you