On The Run From Cossett

Kid 1:
Aw fuck, you guys, here comes Cossett

Kid 2:
Dude, he's like half your size, why don't you just like... beat him up?

Kid 1:
No, dude, last time I got rough with him he totally hacked me in front of the whole school!

Kid 2:
Oh my god, fuck, dude

Cossett:
Well, well, well, look who we have here

Kid 1:
Aw, c'mon man, fuck off

Cossett:
The fuck did you just say? Don't make me hack your shit again. You know the drill, bitch. All your bitcoins, on this flash drive, or you're dead

Kid 1:
Aw, c'mon dude, that's all my bitcoin for lunch, man, please!

Cossett:
Now, or I'll get my truck again

Kid 1:
No, no, Cossett, no!

[truck revving]

Kid 1:
Please, Cossett, please! Do not get in your pickup truck, please, I don't wanna get run over by your pickup truck! Noooooo!

Cossett:
Open your laptop, give it to me
Open your laptop, give it to me
Open your laptop, give it to me
Open your la-la-la-la-laptop, give it to me
Gimme your laptop
I heard you only watch missionary porn, you super hetero-normative fuck
Why don't you just go date a fucking cheerleader, you fuck
Fucking non-vector3 variable calling piece of shit
I bet you deadlift 200 pounds and you're really healthy, you fucking nerd
When was the last time you coded in Python, you jock bitch?
Gimme your laptop
Open it
Jock bitch
I bet you passed the PACER test, you fucking loser

[PACER test]

Narrator:
Now introducing... Jimmy Fallon!

Jimmy Fallon:
Run, bitch, you're fucked!
Cause you can't outrun the front of a truck
You can hide, you can slide, you can make up a lie
But Cossett's gonna find you