On My Way to Hooterville (Pt. 2)

I did a concert In a quaint little dive bar
Somewhere out there in the midwest
I got a room in a mom and pop motel
Admittedly not the best

After the show when the bar owner heard this
He said no, you'll stay with me and my wife
We've been renovating our guest room
For times like this
You'll have the sleep of your life

He drove me back to the motel
So I could return my key
And ask for a refund, was I kidding
I woke them up
They were glad to be rid of me
The bar owner's guest room
Was carpetted, blackout drapes, wifi, private bath
It was everything he said
Except, wait just a minute something's missing
I asked him, 'where is the bed?'

'Oh, we haven't bought that yet
But the carpeting is soft as a dream'
I thought he was kidding
He was not
I wanted to scream

'You had me check out of a motel
Wake up the owners
So I could sleep on your floor?
I'm a senior citizen
I wasn't raised by wolves
What do you take me for?'

'Don't be such a fuss budget
You'll be fine, you'll sleep like a baby
I'm sure you will', no, I didn't
It was another sleepless night
On my way to Hooterville

The carpet is soft as a dream
I can't see in the dark