Nothing is the Same

I was trying to find my head
While you were trying to find comfort in your hospital bed
And every hopeful word that you've said
Still resound in the back of my head

The bark on this family tree is softening
The roots are loose in the ground and the leaves keep leaving
And even though everyone is keeping faith
I am having trouble believing

Now I'm drowning in a sea of thought
And I can't swim I'm so distraught
Because not blaming myself
Was something I was never taught

I never thought that I
Could be so young and full of regret
And yet I won't forget

The time you told me I was painted gold
But you should know I feel like I'm smothered in gray
And I know that it's not true, and I shouldn't think that way
But I've just felt so beaten down, lately

I asked my mom if you'll be okay
And she opened her mouth but the words just wouldn't come out
So I thought of what life would be like when you leave
But there's just too much to think about

There's just too much to think about