Nerd Love

[JASON]
Hey, hey, hey Nerd Girl
Don’t be shy
Don’t try to hide that lazy eye
Cuz I don’t care about the acne on your face
And I got the same William Shatner tee-shirt
In the closet back at my place

Nothing gets me hot like Star Trek, Baby
That space shit is sexy as hell Just the sight of a Tribble or a Klingon
Bring on notions of emotions too blue to tell
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Nothing gets me hot like Star Trek
Baby, C’mon!

Gimme Nerd Love
Gimme, Gimme Nerd Love
Gimme Nerd Love
I’m getting all weak, ‘bout to freak wanna geek out to you

[KATRINA]
Excuse me. But contrary to what you might think-
I am not a (quotation mark fingers) “nerd.”

[JASON]
Okay, when you just used quotation mark fingers right there it was like the naughtiest thing I’ve ever seen. You gotta do it again

[KATRINA]
No, just because I wear sweater vests and just because I have
An intimidating knowledge of the secondary characters in the Twilight Vampire book series does
Not make me... the N-word

[JASON]
No, it does- but it’s cool, it’s hot
Your dweebiness is Fresh, girl, it makes wanna just, like...

(KATRINA begins to wheeze. JASON thinks that she is fuck- panting, so he starts to growl.)

[JASON]
Yeah, just like that, mm...

[KATRINA]
No it’s (wheeze) my asthma
(KATRINA turns around to suck on some inhaler.)

Hey Nerd Girl, listen please
Don’t you try to disguise that nervous wheeze
It don’t deter me a bit
In fact, I’m digging on it
Because

Nothing’s quite as rad as asthma
Baby
It’s as cool as lung disorders can be
There’s something kind of criminal
‘bout taking hits off an inhaler
That appeals to the bad boy in me
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah nothing’s quite as rad as asthma, Baby, c’mon!

[JASON & KATRINA]
Gimme Nerd Love
Gimme, Gimme Nerd Love
Gimme Nerd Love

[JASON]
Cuz just a peek at your physique got my beaker shrieking with steam Scotty, Scotty, beam me up

Nothing gets me off like Nerd Girls
Baby, baby, baby, I just gotta admit
Sure, Daphne had the tits and the hair
But that don’t compare to Velma’s acerbic wit
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah nothing gets me off like
Nerd Girls, Mamma, come on-

(KATRINA lays one on JASON. They break apart. A moment where JASON is all like: “The fuck was that?!”)

[JASON]
Give me Nerd Love
Give me, give me the Nerd Love
Give me Nerd Love
Cuz you’re pretty and you’re neat
And I think it would be sweet
If we could hang together, you and me, together
Yeah, Yeah

[JASON & KATRINA]
Gimme Nerd Love
Gimme, Gimme Nerd Love
Gimme Nerd Love
Cuz nothing gets me hot like Star Trek, Baby (Ah)
And Nothing’s quite as rad as asthma, Baby (Ah)
And Nothing gets me off like Nerd Girls, Mamma (Ah)
C’mon, C’mon
C’mon, C’mon
Yeah