Asleep On My Arm

We were watching Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead
Then she fell asleep on my arm
She fell asleep on my arm
Her head is cuddled on my elbow
We’re huddled on my bed
I forgot to set the alarm
And she’s asleep on my arm

Don’t want to wake her
Well I want to
I just don’t think that I should
And I guess that’s part of my charm
That I let her sleep on my arm

It sorta hurts, but I don’t care
Because her hair smells killer good
And I would move if I could

Nah I think I’ll stay because
She’ll cook me breakfast
And I won’t have to pay for cafeteria food
And in the mornings when I’m an evil bastard
She’s always in a good mood

And I think I’ll stay because
I work for her father
And moving would be too much of a bother
So it’s easier just to keep her asleep on my arm

I gave away my dog
She’s allergic to pets
Still I let her sleep on my arm
Why do I let her sleep on my arm?

I’m getting antsy
Can’t she move so I can go for cigarettes?
Y’know, who cares if it upsets
Dude, just get up without regrets

Yeah, I could move ‘cause she’s so cheap
She makes me mow the lawn and fix the sink
And I do it like a wuss, man
So because of that I think that I better stay
To prove that I’m not weak

And if I wake her up then we’ll have to speak
I’m such a geek how I could seek and freaking fret
Ah fuck, forget it, please
It’s easier just to leave her asleep on my arm

I’m starting to get all pins and needles
Fuzzy, wuzzy, prickly
Because she’s asleep on my arm
Been asleep too long on my arm

What used to feel like warm and cozy
Has now turned pretty quickly into wrenching pain and crickley
And I’m getting up because I’m being held back
And there’s no way to task
The bone was gonna crack

And it’s no big deal, it’s nothing profound
Just gonna sift and shift my weight around
Just rearrange and change the situation
Into something that’s new

Ah, screw it
It doesn’t hurt that bad
And she’s sort of occasionally rad
She puts up with crap that nobody else would allow

And she likes to sleep on my arm
She deserves to sleep on my arm
So I’ll let her sleep on my arm
For now