Myrtle’s Always There

Just want to fix my makeup
Just want to do my hair
But I can’t, and it’s because
Myrtle’s always there

[Part 1:
Her clothes are so outdated
Her complexion’s not too great
Even though she’s kind of nice
She’s just too much to take

So I avoid the bathroom
That’s on the second floor
Because that’s where you’ll find Myrtle
The dead girl who’s such a bore]

Just want to go in silence
Without a ghostly stare
But I can’t, and it’s because
Myrtle’s always there

[Part 2:
OK, so I’ll admit it
Sometimes she’s not so bad
A friend who is transparent
Is a useful friend to have

I really love to gossip
And Myrtle knows it all
When we want the latest update
We ask her to peek through walls]

Just want to fix my makeup
Just want to do my hair
But I can’t, and it’s because
Myrtle’s always there

[Parts 1 and 2 sung at the same time by different singers]

Everyone else hates Myrtle
But we say, ‘Au contraire’
She does things we wouldn’t dare
So give this ghost a chance that’s fair
Give your thanks and be aware
That Myrtle’s always there