My Life (Is the Worst Life Ever)

[Monologue]
What the fuck's up? Oh, I know what you guys are thinking; "This guy seems really angry!" Well, guess what? I'm actually shy! And I know everyone thinks they can bully me 'cause I run to class with my rolly bag. Well, joke's on them, that's where I keep my katanas! Alright, let me just tune up real quick. Ha! Okay, I think I'm ready. This song is about how every day of my life is a complete fucking nightmare, AKA I grew up in the United Waste of America, AKA I'm a communist, see me after the show for literature!

[Intro]
One, two
One, two, I don't care!
Oh yeah
Oh yeah, tonight
Oh yеah, oh yeah yeah
Oh yeah, tonight, oh yеah, tonight

[Verse 1]
Black tears they stain my broken cheeks
I'm like a dead black rose in the middle of the night
You abandoned me on the side of the highway
Which highway? The highway of life
I wanna take my nails and scratch my face off
On a dark black night you fuckin' cursed me
I wanna take my skin, give it as a gift, ha!
Happy anniversary

[Chorus]
My life is the worst life ever
The worst life ever invented
My life is vomit, my life is shit now
My life is terrible 'cause you don't know what actual fucking pain is

[Interlude]
AKA have you ever had the entire basketball team convince you that if you get on top of the school, run off as fast as you can and spread my arms, they told me I could float like a sugar glider! And guess what? I jumped off, I fell twenty feet and I broke my fucking foot!!

[Verse 2]
Oh yeah, oh yeah yeah
Oh yeah, tonight, oh yeah, toni-hight
Your words are poison, the words that made me die
The black tattoo of love, it seems to cry
The memories are shit and blood mixed into a pie
You said you'd stay but you lied

[Chorus]
My life is the worst life ever
The worst life ever invented
My life is vomit, my life is shit now
My life is horrible, 'cause I guess you fuckin' abandoned me

[Interlude 2]
AKA you moved in with your stepdad in Darien, Connecticut! But you know what? I'll never forget the first time we made love, AKA you gave me a handjob while I played Kingdom Hearts!

[Outro]
Oh yeah