Crucial Life Lessons for Young Children (feat. Michael Nice)

[Intro: Infomercial Narrator]
If you have a tot, tike or toddler in your life, you can't afford to not buy this album! It's the newest CD collection from children's music sensation Michael Nice, featuring 300 of his timeless tunes. It's called: "Crucial Life Lessons for Young Children", featuring songs such as...

[Song 1]
When you're hanging out with friends
And you wanna play pretend
If you wanna be a man in space
You need a helmet on your face
But you don't need a real spacesuit
Any household item will do
So put a plastic bag on your head
Put a plastic bag on your head

[Break: Infomercial Narrator]
And also...

[Song 2]
Your mom and dad were joking when they said you're allergic to nuts
You are not allergic to nuts, no way!
'Cause no one is allergic to nuts, they made it up!
So go ahead and eat some nuts

[Break: Infomercial Narrator]
And don't forget about...

[Song 3]
If you're angry and you're scared, hit your friend

[Break: Infomercial Narrator]
Here's another one

[Song 4]
Don't read, yeah yeah
Don't read, yeah yeah

[Break: Infomercial Narrator]
Finally, there's a product that's good for children that they'll really love for about half of what many toys cost. Make your favorite child happy for once, and get yourself a big kiss in the bargain

[Song 5]
Lightbulbs can go in the microwave
Lightbulbs can go in the microwave

[Break: Infomercial Narrator]
This one's really fun

[Song 6]
If there's doody in your pants, that's food

[Break: Infomercial Narrator]
"Crucial Life Lessons for Young Children", 300 songs that little kids need to hear

[Song 7]
Pour your milk on your dad's computer
Pour your milk on your dad's computer
Just do it, kid!
Fuck it, I'm sure your dad will love it
When you pour your milk on his brand new computer