Music To Operate By

A recent medical study proved
That during operations
Music in the background
Creates a calm sensation
Doctors' blood pressures drop
While spirits tend to rise
Keeping all hands steady
Keeping a sharpness in the eyes

I worked in a hospital
Before I worked in music
I've got the experience
Here's my chance to use it
Next time I find myself
Going under the knife
I've got the song to sing
Which just might extend my life. .

Good morning doctor
I trust you are sober
I have been dreading this encounter
For a long time
My best friend is a lawyer
No, not in malpractice
But he's got friends of friends who are
So please keep that in mind

Let's get in a happy place
Filled with happy thoughts
Don't think about that Mazda Miata
Your ex-wife just bought
Clear your mind of that divorce
Your kid's fancy tuition, the hoped-for horse
Don't think about all the pressures
Hanging over your head
Just remember if you screw this up
I will come and haunt you when I'm dead

Good morning scrub nurse
I hope you like your verse
It's about how you are overworked
And under-appreciated
The doctor's get the glory
You do all the gory stuff
And today you assist that geeky doctor
The one that you once dated

Let's get in a happy space
Filled with happy thoughts
Don't think about the awkward break-up
How much you and he fought
Don't think about your lonely life
If you had become his wife
You wouldn't have to work this job
With all this pressure heaped on you
Just remember if you screw this up
I'll come back to haunt you, too

Can't you feel the love here in the air?
It must be great to operate on patients
Like me who so obviously care
About you and all of your pathetic personal problems
That you should have left outside the door
Because right now I'm putting my life in your hands
So concentrate! concentrate!

Last but not least
Good morning anesthesiologist
Remember drugs are dangerous
Administered incorrectly they can do harm
I don't like the look on your face
You're not in a happy space
I don't like that needle
Why did you stick it in my arm?

100 . . . 99 . . . 98 . .
(no I don't feel any different)
Why are you three laughing now
And dancing round my bed
Why does it feel like
I have puff balls in my head
95 . . . 94 . . . 92 . .
No . . . no different
Just be careful with me
It's my right . . . no, it's my left knee
. . or is it my kidney
Or my spine
91 . . . 8 6 . .
I feel good . .
I just hope my little song
Has put you in a very happy state of . .
Blue Cross. .
Why do you ask?
Mind . .