“Mikey, you’re making me look like a liar”

Cactus Jack: "I'd say, ’Hey Mikey, look at the leaves turning colors, the beauty of the fall foliage.' But you were too cool to care, weren't you Mikey?! I’d say, 'Mikey, here is a cassette that means a lot to me, and if you listen to the words, you'll find that they might change your life'. And Mikey took that tape out and said, 'Who's Leonard Cohen?', then stuck in the satanic ritual music of Ozzy Osbourne and expected me, as a parent of two children, to stand there and take it!

Mikey, I know you don't have money Mikey. So dished it out. I paid the tolls, I paid the gas, I even gave you money for meals. And what did you come across with? Nothing nutritious. Nothing that would make you into a world champion.

I can count every time... Doritos. If you want to ruin your body, well damn well that’s up to you. But the fact remains, when you don’t need Cactus Jack anymore, and you were able to get a ride for yourself, those Doritos stayed there, and haunted me, and they called me, until I couldn't resist anymore! For God’s sake man, don't you realize I have an eating disorder?!

[camera pans left and shows Raven]

But now there is a man, who has taken me into his grasp. [Who] Is going to make me a bigger star than I ever dreamed. And all he asked was one thing: 'Bring me Mikey Whipwreck!' And I looked him into the eye and said ’Yes Vince, he'll be yours, yours, all yours.' – Mikey, you're making me look like a liar...

And I will smack you... as if you were my own child. The only one difference is: There is no law against destroying you. What Uncle Vince wants, Uncle Vince gets."