Meditation, Pt. 5

[Intro]
(I just wanna rock you)
(All night long, oh, I wanna rock you)
(I just wanna rock you)
(All night long, oh)

[Verse]
Isolate the spirit from the flesh 'cause I get too impatient
'Cause You been patient all the years that I ain't knew Your language
I put the ink to the paper like it's the Declaration
Mental health feelin' shaky, but I'm still elevatin', yeah
I get wiser while I wait, but I hate it
'Cause every day I think it's near and wonder why I'm still waitin'
I tell myself that I got faith and I won't let nothin' shake it
But it's hard to duck the demons every day, tryna' take it, I'm still sayin'
I don't need no mеdication
I just need some meditation
Still remеmber when I was workin' at Salt Grass
Waitin' tables for tips just hopin' that they would all last
Felt like every coworker hated me, it was all bad
Got off every night hopin' that I get in a car crash
Make it home alive and try to find me some space
And tell myself nobody like me, why am I this way?
Blamin' everybody else for every single mistake
I used to really wanna pray but I ain't know what to say
I used to race home to Kayla every night not even thinkin'
All I made was fifty dollars tonight, but I'm still drinkin'
We smokin', I'm loaded, life's good, we rollin'
At least that's what I told myself just in the moment
Can't even pay the rent, now I'm stressin', I feel hopeless
Hopin' nobody notice, prayin' a door opens
Textin' other females, hopin' for a distraction
Sexin' other females, lookin' for satisfaction
She don't even know everything that actually happen
Ain't really wanna cheat, I just needed some interaction
I would just gaslight every time we would argue
Many times it get physical, she would be like "Who are you?"
I wish I coulda just let it go but it was too hard to
I pushed her away and we never became cordial
Life was in a frenzy, started talkin' to Lindsey
I wonder if I loved her really, I felt empty
I was so attached to thinkin' that she could heal me
But every time I messed up, felt like she would condemn me
Turn around and forgive me, we were just movin' backwards
I just couldn't deal with all the family attachments
Back and forth wit' exes, I ain't know how to manage
Makin' me look like I was crazy, I was embarrassed
I think we overdated, then everything started fadin'
Could have finally got the healing I needed but I'm impatient
After everything was finished I probably should have waited
But if it wasn't for Leia, I don't know if I woulda made it
Anger got the best of me, fightin' with all my relatives
Depression got me trippin', I can't believe what I said to them
Lyin' 'bout my life just to look like I was ahead of them
Pretendin' I got money, my bank account in the negatives
Damn, but I'm in the club ballin'
Actually feelin' guilty, I keep hearin' God callin'
I needed to repent but every day I was stallin'
Procrastinatin' prayer so every day I was fallin'
Sulkin' in my insecurities, I was too stressed
Comparin' that to my life now, I just feel too blessed
They send me old pictures, I hate it when people do that
It's hard to see the memories when I'm tryin' to redo that
Stop tryna' renew that, that's the way to get cut off
It took too long to get these demons to finally run off
Stop readin' my Bible, I need to go wipe the dust off
Probably the reason why I can't keep the stains of this lust off
Jesus, now that was a bar
God said He would change me, ain't think He'd take it this far
All the places I was settlin' now are lookin' irrelevant
The struggles that the devil sent turned me to somethin' heavensent
Ooh, now that was the Spirit
Used to not know where it was, but now I finally could hear it
I used to try to ignore it and now I finally go near it
Because I no longer fear it, I think I finally know Kieran
I can arrive now, even throughout all of my motives
He heard me cryin' out, look at all the music we know of
It's all dyin' now, look at all the fruit, how it's growin'
It's my time now, I'm the Light Child, yeah

[Outro]
(I just wanna rock you)
(All night long, oh, I wanna rock you)
(I just wanna rock you)
(All night long)