Lysistrata (Section 1)

LYSISTRATA stands alone with the Propylaea at her back.

LYSISTRATA
If they were trysting for a Bacchanal,
A feast of Pan or Colias or Genetyllis,
The tambourines would block the rowdy streets,
But now there's not a woman to be seen
Except--ah, yes--this neighbour of
mine yonder.

Enter CALONICE.

LYSISTRATA
Good day Calonice.

CALONICE
Good day Lysistrata.
But what has vexed you so? Tell me, child.
What are these black looks for? It doesn't suit you
To knit your eyebrows up glumly like that.

LYSISTRATA
Calonice, it's more than I can bear,
I am hot all over with blushes for our sex.
Men say we're slippery rogues--

CALONICE
And aren't they right?

LYSISTRATA
Yet summoned on the most tremendous business
For deliberation, still they snuggle in bed.

CALONICE
My dear, they'll come. It's hard for women, you know,
To get away.
There's so much to do;
Husbands to be patted and put in good tempers:
Servants to be poked out: children washed
Or soothed with lullays or fed with mouthfuls of pap.

LYSISTRATA
But I tell you, here's a far more weighty object.

CALONICE
What is it all about, dear Lysistrata,
That you've called the women hither in a troop?
What kind of an object is it?

LYSISTRATA
A tremendous thing!

CALONICE
And long?

LYSISTRATA
Indeed, it may be very lengthy.

CALONICE
Then why aren't they here?

LYSISTRATA
No man's connected with it;
If that was the case, they'd soon come fluttering along.
No, no. It concerns an object I've felt over
And turned this way and that for sleepless nights.

CALONICE
It must be fine to stand such long attention.

LYSISTRATA
So fine it comes to this--Greece saved by Woman!

CALONICE
By Woman? Wretched thing, I'm sorry for it.

LYSISTRATA
Our country's fate is henceforth in our hands:
To destroy the Peloponnesians root and branch--

CALONICE
What could be nobler!

LYSISTRATA
Wipe out the Boeotians--

CALONICE
Not utterly. Have mercy on the eels!

LYSISTRATA
But with regard to Athens, note I'm careful
Not to say any of these nasty things;
Still, thought is free.... But if the women join us
From Peloponnesus and Boeotia, then
Hand in hand we'll rescue Greece.

CALONICE
How could we do
Such a big wise deed? We women who dwell
Quietly adorning ourselves in a back-room
With gowns of lucid gold and gawdy toilets
Of stately silk and dainty little slippers....

LYSISTRATA
These are the very armaments of the rescue.
These crocus-gowns, this outlay of the best myrrh,
Slippers, cosmetics dusting beauty, and robes
With rippling creases of light.

CALONICE
Yes, but how?

LYSISTRATA
No man will lift a lance against another--

CALONICE
I'll run to have my tunic dyed crocus.

LYSISTRATA
Or take a shield--

CALONICE
I'll get a stately gown.

LYSISTRATA
Or unscabbard a sword--

CALONICE
Let me buy a pair of slipper.

LYSISTRATA
Now, tell me, are the women right to lag?

CALONICE
They should have turned birds, they should have grown wings and flown.

LYSISTRATA
My friend, you'll see that they are true Athenians:
Always too late.
Why, there's not a woman
From the shoreward demes arrived, not one from Salamis.

CALONICE
I know for certain they awoke at dawn,
And got their husbands up if not their boat sails.

LYSISTRATA
And I'd have staked my life the Acharnian dames
Would be here first, yet they haven't come either!

CALONICE
Well anyhow there is Theagenes' wife
We can expect--she consulted Hecate.
But look, here are some at last, and more behind them.
See ... where are they from?

CALONICE
From Anagyra they come.

LYSISTRATA
Yes, they generally manage to come first.

Enter MYRRHINE.

MYRRHINE
Are we late, Lysistrata? ... What is that?
Nothing to say?

LYSISTRATA
I've not much to say for you,
Myrrhine, dawdling on so vast an affair.

MYRRHINE
I couldn't find my girdle in the dark.
But if the affair's so wonderful, tell us, what is it?

LYSISTRATA
No, let us stay a little longer till
The Peloponnesian girls and the girls of Bocotia
Are here to listen.

MYRRHINE
That's the best advice.
Ah, there comes Lampito.

Enter LAMPITO.

LYSISTRATA
Welcome Lampito!
Dear Spartan girl with a delightful face,
Washed with the rosy spring, how fresh you look
In the easy stride of your sleek slenderness,
Why you could strangle a bull!

LAMPITO
I think I could.
It's frae exercise and kicking high behint.

LYSISTRATA
What lovely breasts to own!

LAMPITO
Oo ... your fingers
Assess them, ye tickler, wi' such tender chucks
I feel as if I were an altar-victim.

LYSISTRATA
Who is this youngster?

LAMPITO
A Boeotian lady.

LYSISTRATA
There never was much undergrowth in Boeotia,
Such a smooth place, and
this girl takes after it.

CALONICE
Yes, I never saw a skin so primly kept.

LYSISTRATA
This girl?

LAMPITO
A sonsie open-looking jinker!
She's a Corinthian.

LYSISTRATA
Yes, isn't she
Very open, in some ways particularly.