Last One Out of Beach City

[The episode opens in the Beach House. Pearl and Steven are sitting on the couch, doing a puzzle, and Amethyst is shapeshifted into a ball, bouncing rapidly and excitedly, shaking the table.]

Pearl: Amethyst...

Steven: Do you mind not bouncing so much?

Amethyst: (Is still bouncing but shapeshifts back in midair, falling) Oof! Uh, sorry. I'm just super excited. Greg is taking me to a show!

Steven: A show? You mean like at the (puts on a fake British accent) theater?

Amethyst: No, like at a (puts on a fake British accent) rock show! Ha! Like a band! At a house, with a whole bunch of people hanging out and doing stuff!

Steven: Ooh man, that sounds cool! We have an awesome night planned, too! We're doing a puzzle.

Amethyst: Wowee.

Pearl: I know it sounds tame. But it has 612 pieces. And no corners!

Steven: (Picks up a puzzle piece) I.. found a corner.

Pearl: (Surprised) Oh! (Disappointed) Oh...

Greg: (Enters the house) Hey, y'all!

Amethyst: Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg! So, you ready to throw down in the pit?

Greg: No pits for me tonight. I'm sorry, Amethyst, it totally slipped my mind that Barb invited me and Vidalia over for cards.

Amethyst: Cards?! Ugh, who broke you guys out of the retirement home?

Greg: Trust me, I'd love to go to the show! But Barb threatened to hold my mail if I didn't. She is not a woman of empty threats.

Amethyst: Ugh, man, forget it. I can't go show-lo, that'll be boring!

Pearl: You could hang out with us tonight.

Amethyst: And do a puzzle? Ha, maybe we could fit in some knitting, too.

Pearl: That's... not what I meant. We could go to the show with you.

Steven: Really?

Amethyst: Wha?! You wanna go to a show, with loud music and people pushing each other? (Playfully pushes Pearl's arm)

Pearl: I've done my fair share of... pushing. (Gently pushes Amethyst's arm back)

Amethyst: (Gripping arm in pretend pain) Ooh, I think it's broken!

Pearl: You two just never saw me in action! Breaking every rule, taking on the authorities, so I could indulge in the joys of life on Earth! ... Oh, a sky piece! (Picks up a puzzle piece and connects it to the puzzle)

Steven: Nice!

Greg: Well, if you'd like to go, you guys can take the Dondai!

Pearl: Thank you, Greg!

Steven: Woohoo! Rock show!

Amethyst: Hold on, Pearl. This is a human thing, not a gem war. Before you rock out, you're gonna wanna blend in.

[Cut to the inside of the Big Donut. Pearl is wearing a short jacket and jeans on top of her normal outfit.]

Amethyst: Now you're lookin' good!

Pearl: Oh, yes. But I can make it look even gooder. (Flips up the jacket's collar) It's cool, because the collar isn't supposed to go that way.

Amethyst: You a natural!

Steven: (Looking at drinks in the fridge) We're almost set on snacks for the road. We just need some beverages. (Takes two cans out of the fridge) Strawberry Sugar Shock Shutdown or good old-fashioned apple juice?

Amethyst: Definitely Sugar Shock Shutdown. (Takes the can from Steven) It turns everything red. (Opens the can before shoving the whole thing in her mouth and eating it)

Pearl: I'll have one, too, Steven. I think I'll try drinkin' tonight.

Steven: Wow, really? I didn't know you liked apple juice! (Hands Pearl the can)

Pearl: There's a lot you don't know about me, Steven. (Tries to open the can, but fails)

Steven: Whoa... So, Amethyst, tell me more about this band we're seeing.

Amethyst: We're going to see Mike Krol. He's got that real garage vibe. Songs about being nostalgic for the suburbs.

Pearl: (Finally manages to get the can open) Nostalgic for the suburbs? Psh, they've only existed for, what, 70 years?

Amethyst: (Chuckles) Okay, so, when we get to the show, we gotta walk in like we own the place.

(Pearl takes a sip of the apple juice. The store's doors open, and after seeing the person walk in, Pearl spits out her juice. A girl with long pink hair walks in, and Pearl stares at her as she walks by.)

Amethyst: (Pointing at the girl) Oh, hey, right there! Perfect example!

Pearl: (Apple juice can falls out of her hand onto the floor)

Steven: ...Pearl? You okay?

Pearl: Uhh... I just didn't realize humans could come with pink hair.

Steven: (Chuckles) They don't! You gotta go to the store and get this goo. It smells really bad, and it turns your hair whatever color you want!

Pearl: Why would she do that?

Steven: Why don't you go and ask her?

Amethyst: Hey, yeah! We're about to go hang out with a bunch of cool humans! Go do a practice round! (Chanting) Do it, do it, do it!

Pearl: (Nervously walks up to the mystery girl, who is currently fixing a drink. Pearl peeks over her shoulder at her, before attempting to casually pick up a cup and accidentally knocking the whole stack of cups over) I... Uh...

Mystery Girl: (Walks away and exits the Big Donut)

Amethyst: ...Wooow, woah woah woah, wow!

(Cut to the inside of the Dondai. Steven buckles up in the backseat, while Amethyst takes the passenger seat, and Pearl buckles up in the driver seat.)

Amethyst: Well, you sure showed those cups who's boss.

Pearl: Amethyst, seat belt.

Amethyst: (Buckles up)

Pearl: Now let's go have the night of our lives! (Turns the radio on and begins to drive)

(Amethyst airdrums along to the song for a while, and nobody speaks until Steven breaks the silence.)

Steven: Okay, nobody's gonna say it? She kinda looked like Mom. You noticed, I noticed, we all noticed.

Amethyst: Oh. Ohhh! That's why you were acting like such a goon! Ha!

Pearl: No, no, that's not it. I'm done thinking about the past. Tonight, I'm all about the future. I'm going to a show. I'm a new gem who loves socializing with humans.

Amethyst: That's what that was?

Pearl: Look, you weren't there by the cups. I could've talked to her! The timing was just wrong.

Mystery Girl: (Pulls up next to the Dondai on a motorcycle)

Steven: It's the girl! She's driving right next to us!

Amethyst: No way!

Steven: You've got another chance!

Amethyst: Yeah, do something!

Pearl: Like what? Flash my lights? Honk at her?

Amethyst: Just shoot her a look! ...Wait, not yet! Okay, okay. You can look... now!

Pearl: (Nervously looks over at the Mystery Girl)

Mystery Girl: (Looks back at Pearl and smiles)

Pearl: (Blushes)

Mystery Girl: (Drives up ahead of the Dondai, and drives through a yellow light, and continues driving as the Dondai gets stuck at a red light)

Amethyst: Ooh, there she goes.

Steven: Hey, maybe she's going to the same show as us!

Amethyst: I dunno. A girl that cool probably knows about a billion shows going on tonight.

Pearl: (Looks up at the red light anxiously. Suddenly gets a determined look on her face as she shifts the car's gears, and hits the gas pedal, speeding through the red light.)

Steven: Pearl!

Amethyst: (Yells in surprise, then begins to laugh) Yeah, P!

Steven: W-What're you doing? The light was red!

Pearl: I know. (Shifts gears again, and begins to catch up to the Mystery Girl)

Amethyst: There she is!

Steven: What's your plan?!

Pearl: New Pearl. No plan.

Steven: Oh, no kidding.

(A police car sounds its siren as it begins to chase the Dondai)

Steven: The police want us!

Amethyst: Oh, snap!

Pearl: (Gasps) What do I do?!

Steven: You have to pull over to the side and show them your license.

Pearl: I don't have a license!

Amethyst: Haha, oh, right.

Steven: But, but you're old!

Pearl: What was I supposed to tell the DMV? That I'm from another planet?! I'm not exactly a citizen, Steven!

Steven: Then what do we do?!

Pearl: (Steps on the gas while Steven and Amethyst yell. They speed past the Mystery Girl with the police in pursuit. Pearl turns up the music while Amethyst cheers.)

Steven: Pearl, you can't just drive away! This is serious!

Amethyst: Pearl, you're a total bad-- (Cut off by the sound of the tires screeching)

Pearl: This is why we buckle up.

(Pearl makes several sharp turns, leading the cop car on a high-speed pursuit)

Pearl: Hold on!

Amethyst: Woohoo!

Steven: Oh boy.

(The chase continues until Pearl spots a billboard that reads "OCEAN TOWN - No longer on FIRE". Pearl spins the Dondai around and parks it behind the billboard, out of the sight of the police. The police car drives by, not seeing them.)

Pearl: Shh...

Amethyst: Are they gone?

Pearl: I think so. (Everyone sighs in relief. Pearl attempts to start the engine, but fails)

Steven: What is it?

Pearl: We're out of gas.

Amethyst: Aw, what?

Steven: Wait, I'll find a gas station. (Steven pulls out his phone) Looks like the closest one is... 20 miles away.

Amethyst: (Facepalms) Ugh.

(Cut to the three walking alongside the road. Pearl stops abruptly)

Pearl: I can't believe this.

Amethyst: Huh?

Pearl: I was so ready! I really wanted to see your Krol.

Steven: What are you talking about?

Pearl: (Throws her jacket on the ground, and struggles to get out of her jeans) I was going to drink a juice and wear these -- ugh -- pants! (Falls over) And hit people gently enough as to not actually hurt them, and you'd say, "Wow, Pearl is really cool!" But nooo, instead, we drove to loud music, chased a mysterious woman into the night, and broke the law. Ugh, I've lost my edge. I should've stayed home with the puzzle.

Amethyst: Listen to yourself! You're so hardcore! Who cares about pants? You gunned it from the cops!

Steven: That's the most scared I've been since you almost let me die! You're a criminal now!

Pearl: "Now"? I've been a criminal for 6,000 years.

Amethyst: (Chuckles)

(Music can be heard in the distance)

Steven: Wait. Do you hear that?

(Cut to the three making their way through bushes to find the source of the music, the Mike Krol concert)

Steven: We made it!

Mike Krol: (Sings "Like a Star" while a crowd dances and lip-syncs along)

Steven: (Gasps) And there's the girl! She's actually here! (Points to the Mystery Girl standing nearby)

Amethyst: No way.

Pearl: I'm going to talk to her.

Amethyst: (Nervously) Look, Pearl. I already think you're cool. You can ease into the socializing with humans thing.

Pearl: Watch Steven for me. (Pearl approaches the Mystery Girl)

Amethyst: Wait, no! You can start smaller! Talk to a nerd!

Steven: Amethyst!

Pearl: (Holds out her hand to the Mystery Girl)

Amethyst: Oh no! Oh, she's starting with a handshake?!

Mystery Girl: (Shakes Pearl's hand with a smile)

Steven: Oh! She went for it! They're both smiling!

Pearl: (Begins to speak to the Mystery Girl)

Amethyst: I can't believe this. Oh, what is Pearl saying?

Mystery Girl: (Begins to laugh)

Steven: I don't know, but the girl's laughing.

Amethyst: Do you think she's laughing at her or with her?

Steven: Hard to tell.

Amethyst: Shh, she's coming back!

(Steven and Amethyst run over to Pearl)

Steven: How'd it go?

Pearl: I asked her about her hair, and then she asked how I colored mine. I told her, "My appearance is just a conscious manifestation of light," and she said, "I know how that is." Although, heh, I highly doubt it. Oh! And then I added, "By the way, I saved your planet, and your species, and you're welcome."

Amethyst: And how'd that go over?

Pearl: Not very well. She walked off after giving me some sort of code. (Holds out a piece of paper that reads "S. 301-555-0189")

Amethyst: (Laughs) No way!

Steven: Pearl! That's a phone number! She wants you to call her and talk to her on the phone!

Pearl: Oh... well... I don't have a phone.

Amethyst: Pearl! You just like gave her some Shakesperian spiel about light, then got her number like it was nothing?! (Laughs) Pearl, you're a total rockstar!

Pearl: (Looks down at the sheet of paper and smiles)

("Fifteen Minutes" by Mike Krol begins to play as credits like those at the end of a comedy movie play, listing Pearl as "Repressed Nerd", Amethyst as "Ultimate Wingman", Steven as "Voice of Reason", and Mystery Girl as herself.)