John Anderson, My Jo

John Anderson, my jo John
I wonder what you mean
To rise so soon in the mornin'
And sit so late at e'en?
You'll weary out your eyes, John
And why will you do so?
Come sooner to your bed at niht
John Anderson, my jo

John Anderson, my friend John
When you first in life began
You had as good a tail-tree
As any other man
But now 'tis waxen old, John
And it waggles to and fro
And it never stands alone now
John Anderson, my jo

John Anderson, my jo John
You can love where'er you please
Either in our warm bed
Or else aboon the clothes
Or you shall have the horns, John
Upon your hеad to grow
For that was always the cuckold's curse
John Anderson, my jo

So whеn you want to have me, John
See that you do your best
And when you begin to kiss me
See that you grip me fast
See that you grip me fast, John
Until that I cry, “Oh!”
Your back shall crack or I'll cry slack
John Anderson, my jo

Oh, but it is a fine thing
To peek out o'er the fence
But 'tis a far, far finer thing
To see your back commence
To see your back commence, John
To wriggle to and fro
'Tis then I like your chanter-pipe
John Anderson, my jo

I'm backit like a salmon
I'm breastit like a swan
My belly is a down-sack
My middle you may span
For my crown until my toe, John
I'm like the new-fa'n snow
And 'tis all for your conveniency
John Anderson, my jo