Intro; Stuff That’s Bugging Americans; I Hate Pretty Women; You

[Announcer]
International star of stage, screen, and television, a man of comedy, Mr. Redd Foxx

Thank you, thank you very much—see some of these same faces from the first show, and I promise you I wouldn't repeat none of that other stuff, and I mean it
This show, I will talk about things that are bugging Americans—things that are bugging Americans, honey, no separation, we're Americans, we're here together
My subjects will cover Cambodia, Vietnam, syphillis—hell, it's bugging Americans
I wouldn't fight if they attacked my room
See, I was in World War II—will you hush? Why you gotta sit up there and talk to me? You didn't talk to me while I was off
(I wasn't talking to you now)
It's no time to talk to me on my job, I don't come down there while you're fixing hair, do I?
(You can if you want to)
Rest your lips—rest your lips, you've got a busy night ahead of you
Hello, little angel—had more of that for lunch
Anybody got any cigarettess? True Blue, that's what I smoke—I don't beg for nothin' I don't wanna smoke. You ain't got no True Blue, don't offer me nothin'. What you smoking, honey? That's cool.
You come on out the toilet, brother? The show is on—leave your lady sitting up here like this, somebody to hit on her
She's pretty—I hate pretty women—pretty women are like postage stamps: you got to lick 'em before you stick 'em
Look at the girls laughing—here's something for the fellas: What's better than a tiger in your tank? Lipstick on your dipstick
Da-da-da, ba-ba-bum—what ya know, brother?
Alright, glad ya got back
Goddamn, we was wondering if you were gon' ever show up
Had a line in the toilet, too, huh?
You meet nice people in the toilet
No kiddin', Carl Stokes—thank you
Carl Stokes, the Black mayor of Cleveland was in the White House when the Johnson Administration was still in office
And he was standing there in the toilet
And President Johnson walked in and stood beside him
And being quite a bit taller than Carl, the president looked down at Carl
Said, "Carl, I wanna commend you on the wonderful job you're doing down there in, uh, in, er, uh..."
He said, "Goddamn, fellow American, how'd you get something like that?"
Carl Stokes said, "Mr. President, just before I have sex, I beat it on the bedpost four times"
President Johnson said, "Well, hell, I'ma try that tonight when I get home"
President got home, took a shower, walks in the bedroom, beat it on the bedpost four times
Lady Bird woke up, she said, "Is that you, Carl?"