I Worry About Myself

Intro:
Yeah, so much pressure

Verse 1:
I think I need an op on this
I used to be an optimist, my time everybody was watching this
But I got caught up in all of this, fear, anger, depression was no stranger
At my door knocking like every night
Friends told me I'm in danger
What you see on the screens, hmm..That's a doppelganger
Its not me, can't you see
There's a mask I put in place
And I'm just scared
Ill prepared to pull it down and show my face
I built this life
I love my wife, I love my kids, I love this hype
But sometimes I can't just deal, when the struggle feels so real
You got bills, you got mills
You wanna get on mics and kill but
Other people need your time
N'F there's not much of mine
Clean money
I swear I pay my on my grind
But they wanna tax me for my rhymes
Watchin rappers wrapped in shine
Talkin bout the bling
Talkin bout the cream
Talkin bout all these things they have
And honestly I can’t relate
I would rather bump what’s real
And use this outlet to create
There’s a reason why I let it all fly
Fire bullets in the sky
Like a Puerto Rican nine
New year new me new grind
Switch gears new lane
Full strike
One bullet when I put it in my nine
Put the trigger to my mind
Let it fly

Hook:
Push
And Pull
Back and forth like back and forth
Push
And pull
Back and forth like back and forth
X 2

You know I got my reasons
I ain’t took that call in days
I’m between right now and never
I guess this is where I’ll stay

So tell me what you believe in
Is it God
Is it people?
If it’s not then what’s your reasons
What’s your guidance what’s your credence
See my head is filled with demons
So I know that angels e-xist
Feelin like I’m stuck at the bottom of the deep end
Sinkin
Even though my heart is broken
Empty mo-ments still I know i spit it potent
Cold as frozen
Flows are oceans
I been rollin
Tides are hopeless
Mind’s divided
Filled with lies
I killed my ties
But where’s the motive?
I been on this path so long that I forgot where home is!

Real
Or worse?
Stil disturbed
I feel
Reversed
Goin back and forth my mind’s 'swingin' like a pendulum
I use my pen to dull the drum
That beats inside I try to numb the hum
But all I hear’s 'harump-a-dump' - dump the 'Drum'..'Boy'
Play the devil
I need jesus
I need hip hop
I need speakers
Even when my ‘Thoughts’ are 'Black'
I swear my 'Roots' they keep on reaching
'Hail Ceaser'
Born a Roman I keep roamin
Tryna find my meanings hidden in these omens
Optimisitc but I’m broken
I lost hope but I’m still hopin
The Search is on keep it goin
You get 'Lost' inside these moments