I’m Doing My Best

[Chorus]
What do you think when you see me?
Don't judge me, I’m doing my best
Why couldn't my life be easy?
That's because mine is a test
And maybe I’m broken completely
I'm always so fucking depressed
I'm meaningless, nobody needs me
I'm everyone's deepest regret
Yeah, this mind that I have is a sad one
This heart that I have is a black one
I contemplate using this handgun
I reminisce times that I had once
With the girl of my dreams that I had oncе
I used to have friends, now I havе none
I gotta just face it, I can't run
I'm cursed to be someone you can't love

[Verse]
More medication, I need it right now
All these prescriptions keep bringing me down
Crying for help but they don’t hear a sound
Head underwater, tonight I might drown
I come from torture and horror, my life isn’t normal
It kills me, I hate to reflect
I don't trust anyone, I said fuck everyone
I can’t think straight but I'm trying my best
Keep all my nightmares and secrets
I try but I can't let them go
They see my emotions as weakness
But they only see what I show
Some people call me a genius
Others would say Im a joke
I can't escape from my demons
I’m stuck in this world without hope
Yeah, watch as my spirit disintegrates
Watch as my body obliterates
Trauma, it caused all this inner hate
Memories I can't eliminate
I'm going down the decisions made
This isn't sudden, I've been afraid
Crazy and hollow, I'm still the same
I can't break out of my sinful ways
Telling y'all sorrowful stories
And not for attention and not for the glory
It's just how I feel, I'm just doing this for me
That's why I don't sleep until 4 in the morning
And when I'm on the mic, it's a suicide warning
I'm wearing a halo, already I'm soaring
But I ain't no angel, I'm evil, unholy
I'm merely a ghost in this city, I'm lonely
Yeah, looks are deceitful, search under the surface
Reality's fake, a ridiculous circus
Where finding your purpose means finding a purpose
And being yourself means you hide behind curtains
Just struggles and burdens, the pain only worsens
The future's uncertain, the past always lurking
The present converges but time's a diversion
From whatever's next, it doesn't concern us

[Interlude]
True pain isn't something that just goes away
It stays inside you forever
And all you can do is pray for a better tomorrow
It may not come, but that's reality
It's just the world we live in

[Chorus]
What do you think when you see me?
Don't judge me, I'm doing my best
Why couldn't my life be easy?
That's because mine is a test
And maybe I'm broken completely
I'm always so fucking depressed
I'm meaningless, nobody needs me
I'm everyone's deepest regret
Yeah, this mind that I have is a sad one
This heart that I have is a black one
I contemplate using this handgun
I reminisce times that I had once
With the girl of my dreams that I had once
I used to have friends, now I have none
I gotta just face it, I can't run
I'm cursed to be someone you can't love

[Outro]
DempseyRollBoy
In a world of my own