I Love Sex But

[Intro]
Two minutes of pleasure, nine months of pain
No fun for months, twenty years of strain
A fuck is a fuck is a fuck is a fuck
So who's outta luck today?

[Verse 1]
Well, I went to see my girlfriend
Just to pass the time of day
She says, "Please do this," she said, "Please do that"
Till the time had frittered away
So I said to her, "Come over here
And lie down on my face"
She gave me that old-fashioned look
She says, "I know what's in that place"

[Chorus]
She says, "A fuck is a fuck is a fuck is a fuck
You guys are all the same
Your cocks dictate your psychological state
But it ain't a very logical game
And whether you're a cum-quick repairman
Or a master of the tantric arts
You're one kinda feller before you cum
And another when you depart"

[Verse 2]
I had a lady friend at my place last night
She stayed till plenty past late
I really enjoyed her company, but
Temptation could not wait
I looked into her eyes and said
"Would you like to fuck with me?"
But she gave me that old-fashioned look
And locked herself in the lavatory

[Chorus]
She said, "A fuck is a fuck is a fuck is a fuck
You guys are all the same
Your cocks dictate your psychological state
But it ain't a very logical game
And whether you're a cum-quick repairman
Or a master of the tantric arts
You're one kinda feller before you cum
And another when you depart"

[Verse 3]
Well, a feller gets kinda randy
When the ladies withdraw their charms
So I took myself to a gay bar
Thought it wouldn't do me any harm
Well, this beautiful body comes up to me
Then puts his hand right on my crotch
I says, "Hold it, man!" he said, "I am"
I says, "It's much too much too much too much

[Chorus]
A fuck is a fuck is a fuck is a fuck
You gays are all the same
Your cocks dictate your psychological state
But it ain't a very logical game
And whether you're a cum-quick repairman
Or a master of the tantric arts
You're one kinda feller before you cum
And another when you depart"

[Outro]
I love sex but
It comes between me and my fantasy