I F*** Dogs

[PAUL Spoken: Right now we'd like to do one of the most beautiful songs we've ever had the pleasure of doing. Uh, it goes out to every single person in the audience tonight, hopefully you'll get as much out of this song... as you put into it]

(Boom, boom, boom)
Sha-la la-la-la la-la, sha-la-la-la-la la
Sha-la la-la-la la-la, sha-la-la-la-la la
Sha-la la-la-la la-la, sha-la-la-la-la la
Sha-la la-la-la la-la, sha-la-la-la-la la
Sha-la la-la-la la-la, sha-la-la-la-la la
Sha-la la-la-la la-la, sha-la-la-la-la la

I...
I fuck dogs (Sha-la la-la-la la-la)
In the park (Sha-la-la-la-la la)
After dark (Sha-la la-la-la la-la)
When the moon is up high in the sky

The Great Dane is too tall (ruh-ruh ruh-ruh-ruh)
Chihuahuas are too small (Boing)
But the dog that I like to quell lonely nights
Well the dachshund is best of all (Aroo!)
'Cause he is longer than he’s thin
He loves to let me in
His eyes fill with love, he fits like a glove
And that's why he's man’s best friend

I fuck dogs (He fucks dogs)
I fuck dogs (We fuck dogs)
We all fuck dogs in the park (And the mouth)
She fucks dogs (She fucks dogs)
She fucks dogs (She fucks dogs)
We all fuck dogs in the park (Ruh-ruh)

He's got bed bugs, ticks and nits
If he scratches then I itch
But the kennel is cramped and though he's a scamp
Life with a dog is a bitch
You'll never be alone if you give the dog a bone
I'm not weird, we don't kiss
But the problem is this, his bark
(Ruf ruf ruf ruf ruf-ruf!)
Is worse than his bite
(Ba-da-ba, ba da-da dada)

[TIM Spoken: *Cough* *argh*]

[PAUL Spoken: You okay?]

[TIM Spoken: *Ack* *cough*]

[PAUL Spoken: You okay?]

[TIM Spoken: Furball]

His bark is worst than his bite
I fuck dogs
In the park
After dark
When the moon is up high in the sky
And I'm not... proud

[PAUL Spoken: Aw, yeah]