Goes Away

[Ichabod, spoken]
See, when I initially got to New York, I wasn't meeting anyone, and I didn't have any friends, let alone have romantic relationships, and the people that I worked with weren't going out to the same places I was, so...

(sung)
At first I'd go out to the bars
Just by myself and just a drink
Searching for company for friends
For sex, for fun, or just to think
I wasn't good at starting conversations 'round those guys
My tongue forever tied
So when this one guy said hello and asked me if I'd like to go
I just said sure and didn't care wherever he took me and so
We ended up at his place doing all these lines of blow
My eyes were open wide

Tongue is numb, but finally it's looser
Lips are dry and heart beats fast
Find another substance producer
Make this last
Finally free of past inhibitions
Finally free to play
And just hoping that it never goes away

But then of course as these things go I started doing more and more
And hanging out with all these people I had never met before
I'd take some pill and later wake up on somebody's floor
In some disgusting den
And thoughts would often cross my mind
Like "just stay home tonight alright"
But then my hands would start to shake
My head would ache
I'd try to fight it
But the urge was way too strong
I'd grab that bowl and light it
Do it all again

Grind your teeth and wait for the sunrise
Call in sick
Not feeling well
Close the curtains
Hate every sunrise
Daylight hell
Lock your door and pray that you make it
Through another day
While still hoping that it never goes away

Then rock bottom
First you get fired
That's okay
More time to play
Paranoia
"Hey you look tired"
They all say
Out of money
Soon you're evicted
Where you gonna stay?
An idea into view
Start all over life brand new
In deciding that it's you who goes away
Just go away

Get out of the city
Somewhere sort of pretty
Grab the life you thought you knew and tear it apart
Find a fresh beginning
Call an extra inning
Clear away the broken pieces
Make a brand new start
Find a job and say what you have to
Teaching music
Sure why not
Small town life you just need to laugh through your own plot
Pack your bags and head for the station
Find a place to stay
And you'll find yourself another part to play
It's your fruitless former life
That goes away