Genius On-Line Product Catalog (a Parody) - Genius VRE

The Genius Virtual Reality Environment
(Beta Version):

From the minds of Elon Musk and Tom Lehman comes the most advanced operating system environment ever created. Genius today announces the Virtual Reality Environment.

Running Genius-VRE, you'll have an entire universe of your own making. You'll be able to see, hear, smell, touch, and taste it. You can create programs, imaginary data, networks, plants, animals, people, even entire planetary systems. No need for clumsy goggles; you interface by an eight pin connector, embedded at the base of the back of your neck and directly to your medulla oblongata. You simply think about the universe you desire and the Genius-VRE does the rest. Minimum universe creation time is currently six days, using three 7th Gen Intel Core Processors, but Intel has announced that will be reduced to just six seconds by the time of general release of the Genius-VRE, with their introduction of "The Holy Twelve" 7th Gen Apostle processors, one for each of the 12 Realms.

Naturally, efficient utilization of the Genius-VRE requires the user to possess a certain degree of emotional stability and intellectual sophistication. For example, making frequent calls on non-resident galaxies would lead to interminable delays in the execution of your program. However, Intel, IBM, Cisco Systems, Tesla and Genius, through their mutually-owned subsidiary, The United States of America, are working on upgrades to support teleportation, thereby eliminating the overhead of inter-dimensional paging.

Unfortunately, during beta, Genius-VRE users must stay within currently known laws of physics. Also, in the extreme situation where you face termination while within the VRE, your acceptance of your own mortality would lead to your actual death. Genius disclaims all responsibility for your personal decisions and actions. We also strongly advise you to always travel in pairs.

Genius Member Price: $30,000 + $5,000 on-site installation on the hardware you provide + $5,000 outpatient interface installation + $500 monthly software license renewal and support fee, beginning in month two. Contact Genius for hardware specifications. All purchases are by ACH EFT (no credit cards).

Featured video:
"Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun" by Pink Floyd

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